His Mother's Ring
by sciencebaby45
Summary: Emma and Killian get married "by accident". The only issue is that they hate each other. Their complicated past only gets more twisted as secrets are revealed.
1. Realizations

**So I posted this story under gabrielleizzy45, but my account was compromised so I am republishing this again.**

 **Realizations**

Present

Emma woke up to singing.

Cracking an eye open, Emma groaned and pulled a pillow over her head. That was the last thing she needed, a pleasant Mary Margaret twirling around the room while she made pancakes. Emma swore that woman could make a bird come and sit on her finger if she tried to.

"Up, up, up," Mary Margaret called out, having obviously heard the bed creak when Emma had woken up. "David wants to go hiking today," she explained, her voice taking on a soft quality when she spoke of her fiancé even from upstairs.

"And I have to go why?" Emma asked, not making a move to get out of bed. She had been having such a pleasant dream before her roommate woke her up. Of course it starred a guy she now despised, but she had to at least admit he was always a gorgeous jerk.

"Anna and Elsa texted this morning and said they were coming too," Mary Margaret answered, referring to the sisters that were visiting for the week. Emma considered Elsa to be one of her closest friends and they didn't often get to see each other since they lived in Alaska. "Knew it," the brunette muttered when she saw Emma padding down the stairs.

Emma didn't say anything in return, just walked into the kitchen of the loft and heavily sat down in the chair. "I don't know if I'll be able to make it that far," Emma reasoned, asserting her statement with a large yawn. Her head was pounding and she felt like she had only been asleep a few hours at most. "Maybe I shouldn't have had that last drink last night."

"Speaking of that, what time did you get home last night?" Mary Margaret asked, sliding a plate of pancakes to Emma as she sat down across from her. Emma gave her a look of gratitude for the perfect hangover food before she began to dig in. "I left around nine to watch a movie with David and got back to the loft at midnight and you weren't back yet."

"Oh," Emma muttered, her brow furrowing as she thought. Everything had been rather fuzzy last night, but she usually remembered getting home. "I assumed you were the one who helped me home last night."

Mary Margaret just shook her head and warily eyed Emma as she took a sip of tea. "Someone probably had to help you back. When I left you were just starting a drinking contest with Killian. And it looked like you might have been able to beat him this time," she explained, not noticing the widening of Emma's eyes. Because she had been sure that and everything that happened after that had been part of her dream… "Emma, you know I don't think it is a good idea to go out drinking with Killian. I know that you say you have gotten over it enough to deal with it, but imagine how upset you'd be if something happened between the two of you when your inhibitions were lowered."

Emma frowned down at her plate, wishing Mary Margaret would stop lecturing her like she was her mother or something. Although she knew it wasn't the best idea, Emma _did_ spend more time with Killian than she'd like to admit. As long as she didn't acknowledge it the situation would be fine. They were just back to being casual acquaintances who ran into each other quite often, nothing more than that anymore. But of course leave it to the schoolteacher to speak the truth.

"Emma he hasn't convinced you to change your mind, has he?" Mary Margaret asked, fixing Emma with a pointed look. "You know I would be the last person to judge you if you decided to get back,"

"Killian?" Emma interrupted before Mary Margaret could finish her statement, wincing as her voice too loud for her own ears. She had heard the same speech from her friend many times and always chose to ignore it. "The only things we say to each other is him coming onto me and me turning him down over and over again," she lied, knowing that they had grown out of those shallow conservations almost two years ago.

Cocking a knowing eyebrow, Mary Margaret ate another forkful of pancakes. "When I left the two of you were debating whether black or red leather was superior."

Wait, that had been the beginning of her dream, right? Including everything that came after it…But, if it was all a dream, why was it becoming clearer with every passing second as the fog cleared in her head. It was becoming more like memories than a dream, but there was no way she would let that happen in real life, right?

Pancakes forgotten, Emma stood straight up, ignoring her roommates questions about what she was doing. This could not be happening. No, it had to have just been a dream. Perhaps she was still asleep and dreaming. Because she _hated_ Killian now. She just had to check to make sure the ending to her dream wasn't real. Leaving Mary Margaret at the table, Emma bolted up the stairs to her bedroom, her eyes searching the messy end table next to her bed. "Thank God," she whispered when the offending piece of jewelry wasn't there or on her person. Maybe she and Killian had gotten drunk and kissed last night, but at least she knew they hadn't driven to Boston and done something really stupid that they'd both regret.

Just as she was letting herself relax and laugh about how she would never let that happen, she noticed something sparkling out of the corner of her eye on her bed. Pushing back the covers a bit so it was fully visible, Emma mentally swore as she saw the ring sitting on her bed, appearing innocent against her white sheets. Face pale, Emma reached down and gingerly picked up the ring to examine it. Yes, she had seen this ring before, a few months ago. It was that stupid ring that Killian had shown her when he had gotten really drunk and was sitting in a jail cell. He had pulled it out of his pocket, explaining that it was his mother's wedding ring and how he had found it in his brother's house after he had died. That he still carried it around with him all the time because it was all he had left of his mother and would never give it to someone unless he knew she was "the one". It was still too painful to think about what had come next.

"No," Emma whispered again, biting her lip as she curled her hand into a fist around the ring. Without a second thought she rushed down to the kitchen and just stood in front of her friend, holding her clenched fist out like she was scared of it.

"Emma," Mary Margaret said, her voice breaking the silence that had developed as she took in Emma's white face and wide eyes.

"What's this?" Emma asked, even though she already knew the answer, her throat dry as she revealed the sparkling diamond ring in her palm to Mary Margaret. She could barely stand to touch it and thrust her hand towards her friend.

Eyes wide and doe like, Mary Margaret picked up the ring and examined it for a few long moments before speaking. "A wedding ring?" she guessed, looking at the blonde who just nodded in response.

…

2 Years Ago

Emma felt awkward standing in the bar by herself. She had just moved to Storybrooke after months of prodding by her best friend Mary Margaret. After the few hours it had taken to unpack the few belongings she owned in the new loft she now shared with her friend, she had decided to meet her new roommate at the bar.

"Emma!" the aforementioned woman called out, her brown eyes sparkling as she walked towards the blonde, towing an attractive blonde man behind her. "I'd like you to officially meet David," she announced.

"It's nice to see you in person," David said, referencing the many times they had spoken while Mary Margaret and Emma were skyping. "Mary Margaret here hasn't stopped talking about how excited she is since you agreed to move here last week," he finished, referencing to Emma's spur of the moment decision to leave behind her life in Boston after she had a particularly bad experience at her job as a bail bondsperson.

"What's with everyone in this town?" Emma asked, making a joke after David had pulled her in for a hug. Apparently he was a hugger. "Just because the town is called Storybrooke doesn't mean that you have to name the bar after Alice in Wonderland."

Mary Margaret just giggled in response, clearly already having had a few drinks. "Isn't the town just adorable?" she asked, pulling her friend and boyfriend back over towards the bar where a few people stood. "I'm so glad I got that teaching job here after those terrible few years in New York."

Emma smiled, glad that her friend was having such a great life now. They had met when Emma was 20 and right out of prison. Mary Margaret had been working as a waitress to support herself through college and Emma had thankfully landed the job at the restaurant as well. Almost immediately they had clicked and Emma had moved in with the pixie haired woman after just a few weeks of knowing each other, glad to leave behind the dingy hotel room she had been camping out in. Life had continued as such for two years until Mary Margaret had landed the aforementioned job in New York. Not long after Mary Margaret left Emma had just decided to become a bail bondsperson in Boston and they had gone their separate ways. Which is why Emma was surprised that her friend had kept in contact with her, occasionally visiting and maintaining their close relationship. That had gone on as usual until last year when Mary Margaret had suddenly moved to the small town in Maine, found a gorgeous boyfriend, and claimed that Emma must move here too. And, not long after her 26th birthday, Emma did take her up on her offer and move here. After all she already had a job nailed down as a deputy under David, the sheriff, and what did she have to lose? She didn't really have any other friends or family at all, so why not take a chance and move to Maine of all places.

Halfheartedly listening to the conversation around her and providing basic answers to questions thrown at her, Emma glanced around the crowded bar. For a small town there sure seemed to be a lot of people around the same age as her, perhaps even potential friends.

"Emma, I'd like you to meet Ruby," Mary Margaret announced, practically squealing as she threw an arm around the scantily clad brunette. "She works at this diner in town that I'm sure you'll go to all the time," she continued talking with Ruby for several minutes as Emma smiled, figuring from the few comments that Ruby shared that they would actually get along quite well.

It went on like that for what seemed like forever, Mary Margaret or David introducing her to another friendly person. Everyone seemed so nice and unique, but Emma wasn't sure if she would be able to keep all the names straight. There was an Ariel, an Eric, an Ashley, an Anna, an Alice, a Leroy, a Will, and a Belle, or was it Lacey? Perhaps after a few weeks she would remember the names…if she decided to stay that long. Emma wasn't really a people person, so after two hours she excused herself for a few minutes, saying she had to go get some air.

Letting out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, Emma relished the cold air hitting her face as she stepped out of the crowded bar. "This is more like it," she whispered to herself as she leaned back against the brick wall and stared at the dark sky.

She scarcely had two more seconds to herself before she felt a hand reach out wrap around her waist. Habitually flinching away, she turned and faced whoever had dared to touch her, a scowl on her face.

"What the hell?" she hissed at the creeper who had touched her. Guys like that were part of the reason she had left Boston, but apparently annoying guys were present in Storybrooke as well.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay, love," the man said with an attractive lilt to his voice. Maybe he was used to his accent working on most women, but Emma sure as hell wasn't letting it sway her.

"I was before you came up," she said, keeping her voice cold as she glanced up at the man. He _was_ attractive, she'd give him that. That bone structure wasn't something you could just buy and, judging by the glint in his blue eyes, he knew it.

A cocky smile filled his face as he spoke again. "Well it could be better," he announced, having the audacity to put out a hand that she promptly swatted away. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting before. I'm Killian Jones," he finished, clearly undeterred by her actions.

"I'm here with some friends," Emma explained, hoping he would finally get the hint and leave her alone. "I don't really want to be hit on by strangers tonight."

"Well why don't we rectify that stranger situation as I buy you a drink," he suggested, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at her. "And you can tell me your name."

Knowing she would regret this later, Emma sighed in annoyance and spoke up. "Emma Swan," she announced, knowing that she'd have to get to know him eventually in this small town. "And no to the drink."

"A beautiful swan," he added, moving a bit closer to her. "How fitting of a name for you that is. Though I really doubt you ever had an ugly duckling phase…"

"That wasn't very creative, I've heard that a million times, I expected more of you," Emma interrupted, smirking as he reached up and itched behind his ear. She had to give this guy credit; he wasn't detoured by her attitude. Perhaps if she was here for a while she'd give him a chance, he was awfully pretty…

A guffaw escaping his lips, a devilish smile filled his lips. "Oh, I'll show you," he whispered before he suddenly dove in, capturing her lips with his as his hands fell to her waist.

So surprised by his bold reaction, it took her a few moments to gather her bearings. Here she was, in the back of a bar when this strange man had come up to her and flirted and now he had the audacity to kiss her. Ignoring the gut reaction to kiss him back, Emma pulled her head back as she pushed on his shoulders, effectively maneuvering away from him.

"You're disgusting," Emma hissed, wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand. "What do you think I am," she finished, narrowing her eyes at Killian and putting her hands on her hips.

Wide eyed and the picture of innocence, Killian took another step back. "Just wanted to have a bit of fun, love," he answered, acting as if she had done something wrong. "Why don't we go back inside and have a few drinks and get to know each other a bit more?"

"Dirty pirate," Emma huffed, not wanting to put up with him anymore. The hot inside of the bar seemed a lot more pleasurable than the cool air outside now that he was there too.

Gathering her wits, she pushed him back slightly into the brick wall of the bar before walking back into the bar, not even looking back to see his response.

 **Thank you so much. Please review and enjoy!**

 **Gabrielle**


	2. Explanations

**Explanations**

Present

Scarcely had the words been out of Mary Margaret's mouth when a frantic pounding sounded on the front door.

Both the women froze for a second before the brunette took a breath and handed the ring back to a reluctant Emma. Emma cursed and immediately shoved it deep into her pocket. "It's probably Anna just being excited," Mary Margaret figured, hurrying to the door and wrenching it open.

"Emma," Killian breathed out when he saw her over Mary Margaret's shoulder. "Good, you're still here," he said, stepping past her roommate and towards her, a shy smile on his face.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Emma said, making sure to add a harsh edge to her voice. How could he come here looking like he was in love with her after what had happened last night?

He took another step forwards, reaching out like he was going to pull her towards him. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay with everything, love."

"Umm," she murmured, feeling the ring in her pocket against her leg like a hot poker. "You can leave now, I'm fine" she practically ordered, turning on her heels so that her back was to him. Hopefully now he would get the point that she really didn't want to see him.

Ignoring his harsh intake of breath that made her heart clench, she took another step away from him. "Swan!" Killian shouted, his sweet tone exchanged for an angry one, completely ignoring the silent Mary Margaret's presence.

"Yes, Killian?" she managed to choke out, trying to sound as pleasant and nonchalant as possible as she turned around. Maybe she was lucky and he didn't remember what had happened. "Why are you still here?"

"Give it back!" he hissed, his voice sounding so threatening she almost jumped. It was a complete 360 change from what he had been like when he waltzed into her apartment this morning. It was then that she glanced up at his face, sure that she looked just as ragged as he did this morning. She had seen him looking this upset only a few times before.

"Give what back?" Emma innocently asked, taking another step back from the leather clad man.

Taking a deep breath, Killian reached out and grabbed her by the arm and spun her around so she faced him. "You really don't want to be difficult right now," he murmured, the anger in his voice still present. "I don't like to be made a mockery of."

"Would you like some pancakes, Killian?" Mary Margaret asked as she closed the door and walked back to the kitchen, hoping to ease some of the tension in the room. "I think we still have that blueberry syrup in the fridge that you like."

"I won't be here long," Killian quickly responded to Mary Margaret before he turned his piercing gaze back to Emma. "Please tell me you didn't lose it," he whispered, his tone so sincere despite the harsh edge that Emma's façade immediately dropped.

Putting up her finger to signal a moment, Emma dug into her pocket and pulled out the ring. Holding out the ring to him, she let out a long breath when he immediately grabbed the ring and stuck it back into his jacket pocket. There were several moments of tense silence while Killian rocked back and forth on his feet until she spoke again.

"I assume you remember more than me," she announced, sending a look at Mary Margaret that said that she better not leave her alone with him right now. She would need her friends support right now so she wouldn't do something stupid like cry or kill him.

"Aye," he murmured. "Tell me what you remember?" he asked, a pathetic question in his words. It was almost hopeful.

Sharing a long glance with her roommate, Emma grabbed Killian's good arm and drug him to their couch, prepared for a long explanation. Once he had sat down next to her and Mary Margaret was hovering behind them, she began. "Well we were at the bar last night, arguing as usual," she said, glancing up to see him watching her with a curious expression on her face. "We were having a drinking contest and I remember when I won you told me to go home. But of course I didn't listen and we ended up playing pool. Everything is a bit hazy, but I remember getting kicked out of the bar for being inappropriate," she bit her lip, blushing madly as she avoided both Killian's and Mary Margaret's eyes. "You called Smee to pick us up, but I don't remember seeing him…" she trailed off, not really sure how many details she wanted him to know she knew. "Anyway we were in a taxi I guess and I remember going to some courthouse and…well, you know the rest."

Acting entirely unaffected by her story, Killian spoke up. "I remember it a little clearer than you, love," he said, fumbling with his prosthetic nervously before he spoke again. "I'll start off with Smee. He didn't answer his phone so you called a taxi. It took some time for it to arrive, so we were playing on that blasted playground while we waited. Alas, when the taxi arrived we told him to take us to Boston," he paused, glancing up as Emma tried to avoid his gaze. Mary Margaret, meanwhile, was sitting on the edge of her seat, acting as if she was watching a soap opera. "The first thing we did was find the church in the town and I knocked on the door until the priest woke up."

"Wait, you never told me you were Catholic," Emma interrupted, her outburst earning her a sharp look from her roommate across the room.

Without more than a roll of an eye at Emma's comment, Killian continued. "We started talking to him about how it was true love and it had to be tonight. Anyway, I think he finally married us quickly just so we would leave him alone and let him go back to sleep. We found one of those places that are open all night long and signed the marriage license there as well," he stopped then, waiting for Emma to say something. The accidental marriage was legal then and not something they could just ignore, but she didn't know what to say, so she stayed silent. "We ate at that fast food place you always talk about missing and then drove back here. By then you were mostly asleep, so I dropped you off back at the loft before I went home to sleep it off."

"So you just left then?" Emma questioned, raising her eyebrows. That surprised her, that he would leave her alone quote on quote wedding night. Even more than that Emma assumed he'd be worried about her if he was really that drunk and sleep on the floor like he had in the past.

"I decided you were too drunk and didn't want to risk you throwing up on me," Killian answered immediately, acting like he was always quite the gentleman. Oh, she full well knew better than that.

Throwing him a look, Emma licked her lips and asked another question. "So obviously I was plastered. How drunk were you?"

"You know I can hold my rum better than you, love," he said, leaning in closer to her with a smirk on his lips. How he had the audacity to flirt with her right now was beyond her.

Emma just rolled her eyes, scooting further away from him on the couch. "Obviously drunk enough to go along with the stupid wedding scheme," she ascertained. "Have you called anyone looking into how long it'll take to have a mutual divorce?"

"Came here as soon as I woke up and remembered," he explained, running a hand through his messy locks. "But divorces are expensive. Can't we just pretend it never happened and not tell anyone about it?" he asked, putting on his best puppy dog eyes as he met Emma's steely gaze. "It isn't like you are going to want to get married to anyone else anyway."

"Isn't a marriage null and void if it hasn't been consummated yet?" Mary Margaret interrupted, a grin on her face as she took in both Emma's and Killian's red cheeks.

…

10 Hours Earlier

"Oops," Killian breathed in her ear as her back collided rather painfully against the brick wall outside of the bar.

"It's okay," she murmured, smiling up at him. Had his eyes always been so blue? "I know you didn't mean it," she continued, fluttering her eyelashes as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him so he was flush against her.

Muttering something she didn't hear, Killian leaned down and kissed her again. She was just thankful for the wall against her back making sure she was upright right now. Because boy could he kiss. And she had missed kissing him, it was that simple.

"I can't believe they kicked us out," Emma giggled as Killian sloppily kissed down her neck. "We weren't disturbing anyone."

Breaking away from her a moment, Killian looked at her with hooded eyes. "No one else was going to use that blasted pool table," he groaned in annoyance. He smiled at her then, a real sincere smile that she rarely saw from him anymore. He wasn't trying to be annoying or flirt with her with the look, he was just happy.

"And my shirt was on despite what Will said," Emma retorted like a five year old, twirling the hair on the back of Killian's neck as she spoke.

Spurred on by her motions, Killian captured her lips with his once more. Who knows how long they would have stayed there if Emma hadn't interrupted him, wrapping her arms around his waist to rest her head against his chest. "It's sort of cold out here," she mumbled, moving even closer to his warmth.

"Well in that case milady," Killian announced, shrugging off his signature leather jacket and putting it around her with a flourish. "Shall we take this back to my place?" he asked with an eyebrow wiggle that Emma was all too familiar with.

Emma wrapped the coat tighter around herself, breathing in his scent before she spoke again. "I have an even better idea if you're down for it," she said, standing on her tiptoes as she whispered in her ear. "We should go to Boston and eat at Steak n Shake."

"But we can't drive," Killian complained, shooting Will a glare as he walked out of the bar and rolled his eyes at the couple. "And it is late and buses rarely come here anyway," he stopped when Emma looked up at him, all tucked up in his jacket with her lip stuck out. "If the lady insists I'll call Smee."

After multiple tries with Smee and many odd voicemails begging him to help a fellow out went unanswered, Emma got a brilliant idea: to call a cab. It may take a while for the cab to arrive, but at least they had transportation. And Emma had announced that she would pay for the cab if he bought her dinner at her guilty pleasure restaurant once they finally arrived in Boston.

Knowing that they had time to kill, Emma had grabbed Killian by the hand and dragged him behind her towards the old wooden playground. She isn't exactly sure why she decided to come here, but she assumed it would be empty. Plus, if she climbed to the top of the castle she was sure she could see when the cab they ordered pulled into town.

"Killy," Emma called out when she finally got to the top of the playground, thinking how short he looked from up high. "Aren't you going to come up here with me?" she asked, surprised when he just shrugged in response and looked down at his shoes. It took several moments, but finally Emma reasoned that he didn't want to come up because he thought the combination of the alcohol and his missing hand would make it difficult to climb the ropes. So, with surprising agility considering how many drinks she had, she climbed down and patted on the edge of the slide for him to sit.

"Don't you think this is a bad idea, Swan?" he asked, hesitantly sitting down on the slide as Emma plopped down onto his lap. The alcohol was clearly affecting him less than it was for Emma.

"Nope," she breathed, nuzzling against his neck that made him want to forget all the reasons they shouldn't be together right now. "We've known each other for like two years. We talk all the time now and it isn't like this 'us' is a new thing."

Killian interrupted her then, pulling her face away from his chest so he could look her in the eyes and see if she was sincere or not. "We just argue all the time about everything," he reminded her.

"So? We always argue, that's just who we are," Emma whispered, looking out into the empty streets. "It isn't like we actually hate each other, we admitted that we didn't a _long_ time ago," she stopped, thinking back to the time that Ariel told her that Killian said he was in love with her when he was drunk even before the accident. "Why can't we both just admit we are still attracted to each other and stop being so stubborn? So what if I hated you the first time we met? I've gotten over it and gotten to know who you truly are."

Putting an arm around her waist to steady her, Killian spoke up again. "So you really don't think I'm an insufferable ass?"

"No, you are," Emma giggled at their old inside joke, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "But you're my insufferable ass."

At that Killian just started laughing, trying to catch his breath so he could kiss Emma again. And that's how it went for some time, just the two of them running around the playground together acting silly and talking about nonsense.

"Why don't we get married?" Emma asked suddenly, interrupting Killian's story about some pirate stealing a man's wife, all the past teasing gone from her voice.

At her words, Killian's eyes got huge as he suddenly stood up, his mouth in a perfect 'o' shape. "That's my job and I intend to do it properly this time," he huffed in annoyance, getting down to one knee in an abrupt motion. "Emma Swan, I know that we haven't had the most traditional courtship lately," he paused, smirking. "But seeing you is always the brightest part of my day. And I know I hurt you in the past, but I don't intend to let you down now. Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Emma answered, her hands flying up to cover her mouth in the cliché pose. "Killian, that was so romantic. You know I always am secretly disappointed on those days when I don't see you and I'm so sick of acting like I don't want to be together. I have to remind myself every time I'm around you that things can't go back to how they were. But they can, I've just been too stubborn to realize that," she stopped when she noticed Killian struggling to dig around in his pockets for something. "What are you doing?"

"Aha," Killian announced, finally finding and pulling out the ring. Her mouth fell open in surprise, she hadn't realized he still carried it with him. A blush on his cheeks, he snatched Emma's left hand and smoothly slid it onto her ring finger, the proposal complete.

"But that ring?" Emma murmured, glancing down at his mother's ring on her finger. It looked a lot less threatening than it had before, in fact she decided she rather liked it on her finger and all it represented. "I know how important it is to you, I can't take it now."

"As long as you don't chuck it at my head this time you can," Killian got up off his knee, taking her hand in his and kissing it. "Yes you can, love. It's always been freely given to you."

Remembering how Killian said he would only give the ring to his true love, Emma voiced a crazy idea that was floating around in her head. "I know this is crazy, but do you think maybe in Boston we could get married?" she asked, speaking quickly to make sure she could get the words out. It was all or nothing for her right now. "We'd have to have a wedding here later too of course, but we are going to Boston anyway for Steak n Shake, so why not get married too while we're at it?"

Appearing to consider the offer for several moments, Killian brushed a piece of her hair back behind her ear. "And you won't regret this is the morning?" he asked, the fact that they had both been drinking forgotten. When Emma assured him that she could never regret marrying him, he smiled and responded. "I could never regret you, Swan."

They had barely been able to share their celebratory kiss when the cab driver finally arrived, not acting very surprised when the drunk couple told him that they were going to Boston to get married. Throughout the cab ride they really should have paid more attention to the driver. That poor man had to deal with them making out like teenagers, passing Killian's flask of rum back and forth between themselves, and giggling every five seconds the whole ride there.

"Wait, stop!" Killian suddenly announced as they drove through the heart of the city, causing the driver to slam on his breaks in surprise. Thankfully the streets were far less crowded than usual. "We're going to get out here," he told Emma as the driver pulled over.

"Thank you," Emma said to the cab driver, sending him a large smile as he swiped her credit card before he drove off, probably mumbling about drunken people making dumb mistakes. That part of the journey done, she turned back to her fiancé. Gosh, she just loved saying that.

Killian appeared to be just as thrilled as she was, throwing his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close as he gestured to the large cathedral in front of them. "This is perfect, Emma! We need to get married here" he exclaimed.

"I assumed that we would just do it in a courthouse or something like they do in Vegas," Emma replied, furrowing her brow as she tried to make sense of why he was being so adamant about this location.

"No, love, it has to be here," he explained again, sounding frustrated that she didn't agree with him. "My mother was a devout Catholic and would be turning in her grave if her son didn't get married in a church by a priest."

Nodding her head in understanding, Emma turned to look at the large doors, wondering how they were going to pull this off. It was in the middle of the night and she didn't know the logistics of how to do this.

Apparently her nod all the prompting he needed, Killian began to bang on the door with his hand, not stopping for several minutes until they heard a side door swing open. Out walked an old man, presumably a priest, with a scowl on his face.

"What do you two want?" he asked, clearly having just woken up by their banging. It was obvious he wasn't accustomed to being woken up in the middle of the night.

"Can you marry us?" Killian asked simply, leaning down to kiss the top of Emma's head as he spoke. "Please?"

The priest frowned, clearly knowing that the couple was drunk and assuming that it was a spur of the moment decision. "Can't you come back tomorrow morning after you've slept on it?"

"Come on, can't you cut us some slack?" Killian retorted, scratching behind his ear as he did so. "We aren't from here and we came all this way to get married. I've been waiting years to marry this girl and I intend to do it tonight."

There was a long moment of silence as the priest considered his options. Finally, he spoke. "If you both understand what a commitment marriage is," he muttered, adding something she couldn't hear under his breath.

Motioning them to follow him, he led them into the church, asking them their names and if they wanted traditional vows as they walked. Obviously they gave him the correct answers because before she knew it she and Killian were standing at the altar about to get married. If she was honest with herself the whole ceremony was a blur, Killian's rum was a lot stronger than she was used to. However, she knew she couldn't forget the moment when Killian leaned down and kissed her. It was a terrible kiss, they were both smiling too much for it to be any good, but Emma wouldn't have it any other way.

After a lot of thanking the priest and asking for directions, Emma and Killian were finally at Steak n Shake. They had just signed a marriage license and filled it and didn't have long to eat before the taxi they called showed up to pick them up. Killian sure seemed to be wide awake and happy, but Emma was run ragged by now.

"I told you we could have shared the shake," Emma said as Killian leaned in and took another large sip of her shake. "But that calls for a fry," she announced, leaning over and taking one of the few left off of his plate. It was a bit unnerving how easily they fell back into their old habits, but Emma found it comforting at the same time.

"I love you so bloody much," Killian said as Emma stole another one of his fries and dunked it in her shake.

Even in her drunken state Emma froze, surprised to hear those words come out of his mouth. At one time in the past she would have immediately said the words back to him, but even know when she was drunk she knew what a big deal those words were. The last time he had said them she had told him she hated him. But he sure didn't appear to be regretting her words as he just sat there across from her beaming at her. "I can't believe we're married," she whispered, not knowing what else to say.

"And how is married life so far, Mrs. Jones?" Killian asked, the boyish grin once again filling his face.

"It is wonderful, lovely husband," Emma responded, both of them trading sweet nothings back and forth with each other until they finished their food and their cab arrived.

The combination of alcohol, a grand adventure, and greasy food had made Emma so exhausted that she barely even could keep her eyes open on the way home. She was mostly just aware of leaning against Killian's solid chest as he fiddled with the ring on her finger the whole car ride home. She must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing she remembered was being jostled as Killian picked her up and carried her up to her apartment, making some joke about carrying her over the threshold. She started snoring practically the moment her head hit her familiar pillow, so she didn't realize that Killian had paused for a few more moments before he left.

"Please don't regret this," Killian whispered as he pressed a feather light kiss to Emma's forehead, reluctantly leaving her bedroom and locking up the apartment before he began the short walk home.


	3. Waiting

**Waiting**

3 Weeks Ago

"So your friends Anna and Elsa are visiting in a few weeks?" Killian asked, scooting closer to her and slinging an arm around her shoulders in the booth at Granny's.

Emma mentally groaned. She and Ariel had been having a nice lunch catching up when Killian sauntered into the diner and immediately sought them out, sitting down next to her and stealing one of her fries. "We've talked about the new personal space rules," Emma complained, ignoring his question as he reluctantly removed the offending appendage and scooted a few inches away.

Ariel looked back and forth at them in confusion before she spoke up. "Oh, I don't know Anna and Elsa, they are friends with Mary Margaret and Emma from when they were working in that diner together. I saw them when they visited last year though," the redhead answered, not realizing that the question was directed at Emma. Sometimes Ariel acted like she had water in her brain…

"They are coming up for a week," Emma admitted, excited to talk about her friends. She had met Elsa first, crying in the diner as she explained that she felt it was her fault her parents had died a few years ago. In reality it hadn't been her fault at all, they were just driving to a nearby town to pick up the new violin they were getting Elsa for her birthday when they got into the accident. After her parents had died she had fallen into a depression, pushing herself deeper into her music and ignoring her younger sister. The night they had met she had stood up her sister, too scared to face her after years of not talking to her. With some gently prodding from Mary Margaret and Emma, Elsa and Anna had been reunited and were as close as they had been as kids. "I'm really looking forward to seeing them, especially since Anna is recently engaged."

"Oh, that's so great for her," Ariel practically squealed, her enthusiasm for love overflowing. "Is her fiancé coming with them?"

Emma could barely suppress the urge to roll her eyes. It seemed as if everyone in this town was obsessed with love and getting married. Even though Ariel and Eric had been married for almost two years they still acted like newlyweds and Emma assumed they always would. "He couldn't get off work, but I'll meet him next year at the wedding."

"I'm glad you're here Killian, I have something to ask you," Ariel said, completely changing topics. "Eric was wondering if he could use one of your boats so he could go fishing further offshore. He was going to ask you yesterday, but he said you haven't been in your office lately."

"Aye," Killian acknowledged, taking another fry from Emma's plate. "I've been refurbishing the Jolly Roger most days and letting the docks paperwork get backed up," he explained, his eyes brightening as he spoke of the old pirate looking ship he had been refurbishing for ages. According to him once he was done it could be a tourist attraction for Storybrooke. Though Emma secretly suspected he liked working on the ship because it made him feel like an actual pirate. "But I'll call Eric this afternoon and work out the details."

"Thanks a ton," Ariel said with a smile as she stood up from the booth and grabbed her coat, sending Emma a frown. "I'm sorry, but I've got to go now. I don't want to be late to open up the pool for the aerobics class," she finished, putting a few dollar bills on the table. "But we'll have to do this again soon for sure."

Not long after Ariel had left Ruby showed up at the table again, a grin on her face as she asked Killian if he wanted his usual. Ruby always acted like she and Killian had a _thing_ still, which they clearly didn't. Just because Killian had interrupted her lunch with Ariel and sat down at her booth didn't mean anything. She just didn't want to move tables while she ate the rest of her food, so she happened to be sitting with him.

Emma stopped listening to Killian's drawn out story about Smee almost wrecking a ship yesterday when she heard the door to the diner twinkle, a sign that someone had walked in. She looked up, wondering who would be coming into Granny's in the middle of the afternoon.

"The Evil Queen," Killian murmured low under his breath, earning him a sharp jab in the side from Emma. It was a running joke between them that Regina Mills, the Mayor, was equivalent to an evil fairytale queen. She had a few nasty confrontations with both Emma and Killian in the past, so the last thing Emma wanted was to give her another reason to hate her.

"Be quiet," Emma hissed back to Killian as he innocently took a bite of his burger like he hadn't done anything wrong. "She brought her kid with her and the last thing he needs is to be more messed up."

Watching the dark haired mayor and her son, Emma observed that Regina was apparently asking Ruby to watch the kid for an hour and give him an ice cream sundae while she did some official business for the town. What kind of mother did that? Sure, Emma more than understood how difficult being a single mom would be, but you couldn't just pawn a kid off like that.

"Hey, you two," Ruby called out from behind the counter after she had given the kid his treat a few minutes later. "Are you going to be here a while?"

"We can be," Killian answered for both of them, ignoring the fact that Emma had been mostly done with her lunch for quite some time and had work to do back at the station.

"I've got to go help Granny with something, would you mind making sure Henry doesn't burn the place to the ground?" she asked, sending a playful smile at Henry as he let out a little giggle.

Emma sighed, knowing that she would be stuck here with Killian for another hour. Ruby was probably just going to the hospital to flirt with Dr. Whale during his break like she did every day. Plus, here was no way in hell she would leave Henry here with just Killian, who knows what mischievous ideas he could put in the boy's head? With Killian's help Henry would have dated half the girls in school before he even became a teenager. Ruby was probably just going to the hospital to flirt with Dr. Whale during his break like she did every day.

"So, what's new, kid?" Emma asked a few minutes later when Henry scurried over and sat down across from her, absorbed in his ice cream.

He just sent her a smile like he knew a secret and shoved a large spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. "Same old," Henry admitted once he had swallowed. "My life sucks."

Emma rose an eyebrow at that, she just couldn't quite figure Henry out. Their actual interactions had been few and far between, but she'd like to think he knew her enough to be comfortable around her. Plus, Mary Margaret was his teacher this year, so she had heard a lot from her roommate about how Henry just wasn't fitting in. And that didn't surprise her exactly, ever since she had known him the kid had been sort of a loner. But to say his life sucked…something drastic must have happened lately. His life may be boring and monotonous, but he had a rich mother who clearly cared about him. "I'll tell you what sucks, kid," she began, biting back the rest of her remark. It definitely wasn't in her place to yell at the 10 year old, she wasn't his mother.

"My mom is evil," he explained matter-of-factly, ignoring Emma's almost scolding.

"She may be a bit prickly, but she certainly isn't evil, lad," Killian responded, reaching over the table and ruffling the boys hair. Apparently he felt bad for the kid as well.

Leaning back into the booth, Killian put his arm around Emma again and for once Emma didn't push him away. After all, winter was swiftly approaching and she hadn't worn a warm enough coat today, so why not use his body warmth for her own advantage. "What gave you the idea she was evil, Henry?" Emma asked, praying that he hadn't heard anyone badmouthing his mother.

"She won't let me look for my birth mother," Henry said, pushing away his melting ice cream as a frown filled his face. Emma also felt Killian's arm tighten around her, a response she was quite thankful for at the moment. He was well aware why this discussion about adoption would bother her and it meant a lot that he was offering this small sign of support. "I found this website online that says they can help track her down, but she hid all her credit cards so that I can't find her."

"Ah," Emma replied, immediately wishing she hadn't asked at all. Sure, she always knew Henry was adopted, but she didn't like to think about it given his age. She always just thought of the years she had spent in foster care, bouncing from house to house and wishing a family would adopt her. When she was a kid she would have gladly welcomed Regina as her new mother if it meant she had a home. Plus, there was that little thought in the back of her mind about her own decision ten years ago to give up her son for adoption. But she just couldn't allow herself to even think about that anymore, it was just too painful.

…

Present

Killian had practically bolted from the loft after Mary Margaret's comment, saying that he would call her to figure out all the logistics of the disaster in the next few days. Even though Emma knew she didn't have a right to be, she was a bit annoyed at him. In a few days? What did that even mean? Surely she'd see him around town like usual before then, or even get a random text sparking a debate?

Trying to shove all the thoughts about the last day out of her mind, Emma tried to concentrate on David. He had arrived just moments after Killian left, joking about how Emma must have really done a number on him because he completely ignored him when they passed each other. Now he was telling her about the town gossip that there was a screaming fight last night between Will and Ruby about who knows what. Thank God no one was mentioning seeing her and Killian together _yet_.

"Emma, you'd better get ready to go," Mary Margaret called from her bedroom, obviously choosing to acknowledge what she had witnessed less than an hour ago. "Because Elsa just texted that they are on their way over."

"I'm not going," Emma admitted. She needed a few hours by herself in the loft to sort through her hazy memories and figure out what she was going to do. "But I'll meet you guys for dinner when you get back."

"Thought you'd be gung-ho about hiking," David argued back, putting down the newspaper he was reading. Sometimes David could be such an old man…"You always say we should change up routines and do more spontaneous, active things."

Emma just shook her head, reigniting the pounding headache. "I'm just a tad hungover from last night," she lied, knowing that she usually wouldn't let a stupid hangover hold her back.

"You should have seen her this morning," Mary Margaret ascertained, coming up behind David and putting a hand on his arm. Clearly her roommate was going to be helpful today, for which Emma was endlessly grateful.

Not adding much to the cutesy couple's conversation for a few minutes, Emma just stared at her silent phone sitting on the table, waiting for it to ring. Thankfully she was pulled out of her moping just a few minutes later when Anna and Elsa arrived.

"You aren't going, Emma?" Anna asked, her voice rising in volume as she practically skipped over and sat next to the blonde on the couch. "But I wanted to tell you about what Kristoff said when I saw skyping him last night!"

"I think if Emma wants some alone time we should let her," Elsa countered, her voice just as soothing as usual. She was still standing in the doorway next to David, her platinum blonde hair done up in an elaborate braid even though they were about to go hiking. "After all, Anna, you didn't say anything last night when I just stayed in bed and watched Netflix."

"But tonight we are having a girls night," Anna immediately ordered, clapping her hands together in excitement. "We'll watch those terribly cliché movies, paint our fingernails, and talk about boys."

Emma jokingly rolled her eyes, wondering how it was that Anna was just a few years younger than her but still acted like a teenager. "So Elsa has a boy to talk about now?" she asked with a smile, fixing the blonde with a smirk. Despite the fact that Elsa was drop dead gorgeous she never really dated, saying her independence was too important to her.

"Have you ever been on a date in this town in the past few months, Emma?" Elsa asked in retort, not noticing the way Emma's smile froze. Emma knew that Elsa was just teasing with her as a comeback for mentioning her lack of men in her life, but it still hit too close to home.

Emma froze, not wanting to let any emotions show on her face. Elsa was surprisingly good at reading her face and, though she knew her friend could keep a secret or two, she didn't want her to know what happened. She knew enough about her guy troubles in the past as it was. "You know one or two, but nothing ever happened past the first date."

"Wait, you never did tell us the whole story about you and Killian," Anna announced, turning towards Emma with a pitying look on her face. "Mary Margaret mentioned it in passing a few months ago, but has been tight lipped about him since. The two of you just seemed so great together from everything I heard, we were all sure you were going to get married."

Sending her roommate a harsh glare for ratting out on her, she responded. "We don't talk anymore," she lied. Sure there had been about a month where they she gave him the cold shoulder, but recently after many long nights talking they had been almost right back to how things were before. Well, until last night that is. "I got the satisfaction of seeing him in a jail cell though," she added on, complete with a fake smirk.

"I wish I had been deputy and friends with the sheriff with the whole Hans fiasco," Anna groaned, referring to her ex who had just been using her for money. He had been terrible to her and, though she did get to punch him in the face, Emma agrees that it would have been satisfying for him to get arrested as well.

"If he ever comes to Storybrooke I'll have the pleasure," David said. He and Anna, though very different people, got along quite well and it was obvious he thought of her as a little sister. "Though Emma did have a very legal reason to arrest Killian apart from him being a dick."

Emma bit on her lip, waiting for someone else to say something so she wouldn't defend him. Because David didn't really know the whole story of what happened and it wasn't _entirely_ Killian's fault that she had sat on the couch for a week heartbroken and eating ice cream.

Once the foursome had finally left for their hike, reminding her that she could call if she decided to join, Emma got up to make herself some cocoa. Maybe that was just what she needed to help her get over her hangover and stop thinking about stupid Killian Jones.


	4. The Accident

**The Accident**

Present

Anna did end up getting her girls night.

"So you actually want to go to Norway on your honeymoon?" Emma asked, relaxed for the first time all day thanks to two margaritas and being around her closest friends.

"Apparently it is a tradition for Kristoff's family," Anna explained, pausing in her task of painting Emma's nails. "But he doesn't know that I'm surprising him with a Mediterranean cruise a few months later."

"Ah, so that'll be _your_ honeymoon," Mary Margaret laughed, clearly glad to be talking to Anna about weddings. She had just started planning hers and Emma had already reached her wits end over talking about china patterns. "David wants to go road tripping through Europe and see all the abandoned castles there."

Elsa spoke up then, setting down her phone now that she had sent off the email she had been trying to craft for the past half hour. "The Snow White and Prince Charming thing still?" she asked, referring to a running joke about the couple. It was no secret that they were a very happy and attractive couple much like a fairytale. And, since Mary Margaret was dark haired with flawless skin, Snow White had been chosen as their personas.

"Like they'd do anything else," Emma reasoned, enjoying teasing her roommate about that. "Who else would they dress up as for Halloween every single year?"

"I'm sorry that we see the appeal in couple's costumes," Mary Margaret retorted, knowing full well that Anna would defend her.

Before she had the chance to Emma's phone started ringing on the table where she had left it all day. Emma motioned to her hands, reminding her friend that she had wet nails and really didn't want to get nail polish on her phone. "Speakerphone," she said, assuming it would be Ruby or something.

However, when the redhead answered the call, the last voice Emma wanted to hear filled the room. "Emma, love, I need to see you," Killian said, the lilting tone heavier in his voice, a feature that only came out when he was drinking. "I'm sorry I acted the way I did…"

The voice was cut off then when Emma lunged for the phone and quickly hung up, meeting Mary Margaret's surprised eyes. When the phone started ringing again literally ten seconds later, Emma quickly left the room and went upstairs to her bedroom so she wouldn't be overheard, slightly annoyed when she heard Anna asking Mary Margaret if that was the infamous Killian before she shut the door.

"You were on speakerphone," Emma immediately said as a way of apologizing for hanging up on him when she accepted the call, sitting down on her bed prepared for a long and stressful chat.

"I just called to tell you that I was outside your apartment, I'll be up in a second," Killian replied before promptly hanging up on her before she could even curse at him. How was she going to deal with him when Anna and Elsa were over without them figuring out what had happened?

Before she had much time to do anything but stand up she heard the knock on the door echoing around the loft. Trying to get to the front door before anyone else turned out to be in vain because by the time she was downstairs Anna was eagerly introducing herself to Killian.

Taking a breath to steady herself, Emma calmly walked to the front door as Elsa was greeting him. "Can I talk to you for one second?" she asked, relieved when Killian followed her a few steps into the kitchen without arguing. "We can talk tomorrow, but right now my friends are here and it isn't okay for you to just show up without asking."

"Please, you know it's important," Killian retorted, looking a lot more collected and sober than she had expected. "And I brought your favorite Chinese food," he said, motioning to the plastic bag he held in his hand.

"That works," she mumbled under her breath, snatching the bag from him and setting up the containers on the table well he stood silently behind her. "You guys can have this Chinese food and I'll be down in a few," she told her confused girlfriends before she, as nonchalantly as she could giving the situation, grabbed Killian's hand and drug him up to her bedroom.

"I know you're upset about how I acted this morning," Killian began after Emma slammed her door shut and faced him with her hands on her hips. She just wanted to get this over with without fighting and getting upset.

Emma met his gaze, wishing he didn't look so sincere right now. Couldn't he go back to being the cocky ass he was when they first met? "You didn't have to come and act like everything was my fault. Wouldn't you think I was freaking out about what happened as well?"

"That's why I came here to apologize," he said, taking his prosthetic off and on as silence filled the room. "I just don't want to have to tiptoe around each other and what happened last night between us."

Reaching out to stop his habitual movements, Emma responded. "We can't just stay married, Killian. It's weird. We aren't even dating."

Killian stuck out his lip, the expression something Emma was quite familiar with. "Well then, will you go out with me again?" he asked, sounding like an excited teenager asking a girl to prom.

"I don't date anymore," Emma said without even thinking about it. "It always ends up with me being heartbroken and the guy being just fine."

Sitting down heavily on the edge of her bed, Emma tried to prepare herself for whatever he was going to say next. "I was not fine, Swan," Killian retorted, his voice dripping with sincerity. "I waited outside your door for weeks and left countless voicemails while you wouldn't even look at me. If you would just let me in again and stop fearing commitment."

"You know how I feel about commitment better than anyone, Killian. How could you throw that back in my face like that?" she whispered, furiously blinking so she wouldn't cry.

"I just want you to be happy. You know how much I care about you," Killian explained, reaching out for her only to have her step back again.

Knowing she'd regret the words before she even said them, Emma immediately retorted. "Well maybe I thought I'd gotten over my commitment phobia until you cheated on me on our anniversary."

Yep, she was right. His face immediately fell just as she expected. "Love, I thought you understood what happened," he argued, sitting down on her bed next to her in defeat. "She set me up and lied about it!" he continued, his voice certainly loud enough now for everyone downstairs to clearly hear. "I would have never done that to you and certainly not with _her_. We were so happy…I wouldn't, couldn't, hurt you like that."

"You always just want me to pick up right where we left off," Emma whispered, finally allowing the tears to come as her shoulders slumped forwards. "And I just can't," she said, the lump in her throat growing. "But I also can't cut off contact with you because we live in this stupid small town and you are my best friend."

"I won't let you down," Killian claimed, awkwardly rearranging his position probably so he wouldn't reach out for her.

Emma managed to catch her breath for a moment. "I know and I trust you," she finally admitted. "And that terrifies me."

"Can I?" Killian asked, holding out his arms with the question in his eyes.

Immediately Emma launched herself into his open arms, burrowing against him as she cried. She wasn't even entirely sure why she was crying. Something she always prided herself on was that she was strong, but for some reason Killian had always had the ability to climb over her walls and affect her like this. And at the most basic level she just liked being in his arms. So she allowed him to whisper that everything was going to be okay and he would never hurt her into her ears as she cried.

Sometime later, knowing that she couldn't cry any more tonight, Emma reluctantly pulled back, still keeping a tight hold around his waist just to maintain the contact. "I'm sorry," she apologized, furiously wiping under her eyes and hoping that she didn't have raccoon eyes.

"No need to apologize," Killian replied, pressing a kiss down on the top of her head. "Seems like my job as a handkerchief is fulfilled, so I'd better go," he said, making like he was going to stand up.

Emma turned and sent him a glare. "That really isn't funny," Emma retorted, pulling him back down to sit next to her. "We haven't even talked about what happened yesterday yet."

"Obviously we rushed into getting engaged and married in one night," he paused when Emma muttered that he was putting it lightly. "But maybe a drunken mistake is exactly the push we need. We both admit that we still care about each other," he sent Emma a shy smile. "I'm not saying that we tell anyone that we are married, but we can just avoid the whole legal mess and the fights that go with divorce. Instead we can start up our relationship again and see how things go for a few months," Killian stopped then, waiting for Emma to interrupt. When she didn't, he continued. "I'm willing to try it if you are."

"I can't agree to that, Killian," Emma answered, avoiding his gaze so she wouldn't have to see his disappointment. She immediately pulled him in for a tight hug, her heart cracking when she felt how uneven his breath was. "But I don't want things to change from how they are right now, okay?"

Killian pulled back a bit. "So we just stay friends?"

"As terrible as that sounds, yes," Emma said, glancing at the clock in her room and realizing that she had been up here a lot longer than she thought. "And we can talk about what we are going to do logistically with the marriage later on. I don't think either of us are in the right frame of mind for that right now."

Apparently having noticed her glancing at the clock, Killian stood up, pulling Emma up with him. "You're kicking me out now to hang out with your friends?" he correctly guessed, a hesitant smile on his lips when she nodded.

Making sure there was an appropriate amount of space between them as they left her room and walked to the door, Emma tried to ignore her friends failing at not noticing them walk through the room. "We'll get coffee on Monday," Emma promised as a way of farewell. She also allowed him to hug her in the doorway for several seconds longer than was appropriate for friends before she closed the door in his face and turned back to her friends waiting patiently.

"So, let's start that silly chick flick," Emma suggested as she sat down next to Mary Margaret, trying to ignore the pitying looks from her well-meaning friends.

…

1 Year and 6 Months Ago

"What do you mean?" Emma asked, feeling the air leave her lungs as David once again told her about the accident he had seen when he was out on patrol. "I mean, is he okay?" she questioned again, glancing around the sheriff's office and wishing she could be somewhere else.

"He's at the hospital now," David explained through the phone. "I just talked to Dr. Whale a few minutes ago after he was done with the surgery and he said he's stable and awake."

Emma, knowing the tone of voice the sheriff was using, spoke up again. She was just glad she was alone in the office so no one could see how visibly shaken she was by the news from David that Killian had been in a bad car accident. "David, what aren't you telling me?" she managed to spit out, already standing up and ready to go to the hospital. Because despite how much she and Killian acted like they hated each other she knew that she was his closest confidant.

"His hand had to be amputated," David finally answered. "But he'll be okay, Emma. He just has cuts and bruises besides that."

"Shit," Emma breathed out, trying to blink back the tears that were filling her eyes. "I'll be there in ten minutes tops," she said, not even listening to David's response before she ended the call and raced out of the station.

The whole ride there was a blur. Only Emma knew how badly this would affect Killian. He had confessed to her almost a year ago about everything that had happened with Milah. She was married and he knew it was wrong, but they were in love. So they ran off together and almost a year later came the car accident. At first everyone blamed her death on him, assuming that he had been drinking. But eventually it came to light that someone had tampered with the brakes and he believed, even though he didn't have any definitive proof, that it was her husband that had caused her death. She just didn't know how he'd deal with another car accident now that they had taken both his love and his hand.

When she entered the waiting room the first thing she saw was David, sitting stoically on a chair waiting for her. "Emma," he called out, walking towards her with papers in his hands. "If he's up for it when you go in there can you get him to tell you what happened so we can file the police report? He wasn't too responsive to helping when I went in there…"

"I won't make any promises," Emma replied coolly, knowing that it may take weeks for her to pry the whole story out of him.

"Second room on the left," David told her. "I'm going to go down to the station, so call me if you need anything."

"Okay, Dad," Emma joked, amused by how often David did act like her father.

However, the joking smile quickly fell away from her lips when she walked into Killian's room a few moments later. The lights were on but the blinds were pulled shut and besides the beeping of machines the room was dead silent.

"Hey," she said in greeting, wincing when she realized that Killian didn't even glance over at her in acknowledgement. "I came here as soon as I heard," she spoke again, ignoring the chair in the room and just plopping down next to him on the bed.

There was a heavy silence for a few moments before he replied. "I don't want your pity, Swan."

"I think we should push aside our differences right now and just admit that we are friends," Emma carefully said, wishing he would turn his head to look at her. Because what she said was true. Yes, they said they hated each other and constantly bickered, but everyone always knew that they had something neither of them wanted to put a name to. Emma couldn't even count the number of times she had crashed on his couch after a Netflix marathon in order to give David and Mary Margaret some privacy. Or that time when he had taken her sailing and she managed to fall overboard so she had to spend the rest of the afternoon eating Chinese food in her room with him whilst wearing his extra clothes he always had stashed in his boat. Or even just last week when she was sick to death of hearing about the adorable way David had proposed so had shown up at his office with a bottle of wine unannounced. Enemies didn't do that.

"Aye," Killian replied, his voice sounding gruffer than usual.

Scooting closer to him so she wouldn't risk falling off the bed, she tried to look anywhere but the place his hand was supposed to be. Just like David had said, he looked relatively normal besides his left arm. It appeared to end just around his wrist and several white bandages were wrapped around it. Averting her eyes, she tried to think about how silly he looked wrapped in a huge white, puffy robe.

"What if I can't sail anymore?" came his small voice after several minutes of silence.

Oh, there it was. She should've known that was what he'd think about first. "You'll teach yourself," Emma responded confidently, trying to offer him a small comfort by squeezing his remaining hand. "And they are making huge strides with prosthetics. Maybe you can get one of those that you can control with your mind," she joked.

"I'm just getting a basic one," Killian said immediately, obviously having put a lot of thought into the manner in the few hours since he had lost his hand. "I don't want to pretend that I'm not a cripple."

"It may take time to sail as well as you do now," Emma explained, relieved when he finally made eye contact with her. "But you'll be able to do everything. Please don't think you're a cripple now."

"I'll just have to become even more adept at using my mouth for certain matters," he muttered with a filthy smile.

Finally allowing a sincere smile to fill her face, Emma leaned back and allowed herself to relax against him, sitting shoulder to shoulder. "There he is," she exclaimed, poking his side and immediately regretting it when she heard him try to stifle a moan of pain.

"Be easy on me, love," he said, a serious tone prevalent under his joking one. "I almost died today and here you are abusing me."

"Does it," Emma asked, biting her lip as she considered what words to say. "Does it hurt?"

"Not anything I can't handle," Killian responded, wincing when he attempted to lift his bandaged arm.

Hating seeing him hurting, Emma immediately scolded him for moving. "What am I going to do with you?" she wondered aloud, pushing back the hair that was threatening to fall into his eyes.

"You aren't going to caudle me, are you, Swan?" he asked, glancing at his missing hand as he spoke. "Because I don't see how we are going to be able to maintain our usual pleasantries of curse words if you keep on looking at me like that."

"Just for today, okay?" Emma replied, putting her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a hug as much as she could with all the wires. "I thought I'd lost you like everyone else," Emma admitted, hating herself for the quivering in her voice as she buried her face against his neck.

Emma stayed like that wrapped up in the embrace for several long moments, relishing in the fact that he still smelled like rum and the sea. It wasn't until a nurse came into the room to check on him that Emma reluctantly moved away and politely sat in the chair, trying not to listen in on all the personal questions the nurse was asking Killian. After several agonizing minutes of waiting, the nurse left, giving Emma an odd look as she passed her. Almost immediately Emma went to go sit down next to him on the bed again, remembering the job David had tasked her with.

Grabbing the papers off the table where she had set them, she met Killian's curious gaze. "I'm supposed to file a police report on the accident," she said, trying to keep her voice smooth and chill like the deputy that she was.

"So that's why you came to see me," Killian whispered almost too quietly for her to hear, betrayal evident in his voice.

"No," Emma interrupted, dragging the chair closer to his bed and sitting down. "I came because I care. David just said he didn't have any luck asking you about it and wanted me to try if you're up for it," she paused, waiting for him to say something. "Well I can ask you about it in a few days and we can just talk now."

Killian appeared to be considering her words for a few moments before he spoke up. "I was driving out of town to pick something up for my boat when I noticed my truck was acting different. The steering was way off or something. It felt like I couldn't control it, if I moved the wheel a nudge my car flew across the road and if I tried to turn it the other direction it wouldn't budge more than an inch."

"Why didn't you pull over, Jones?" Emma asked, the smart tone that was usually present when she called him by his surname was noticeably absent and replaced with concern.

"The brakes weren't responding well. It felt the same way it did last time," he paused, fixing Emma with a heavy stare to make sure she knew he was talking about the accident with Milah. "And I had just passed the town sign when I lost control and the next thing I remember I saw Dr. Whale telling someone that he couldn't save my hand."

Emma cut him off then, wanting to make sure he didn't get too upset by talking about it. Plus it wasn't exactly fun for her to hear what had happened either. "So what you're trying to say is that you think someone tampered with your breaks?" she asked slowly.

"It was Gold," Killian answered with hate in his voice. "He has never made it a secret that he despises me and I know he was mad when I accused him of causing the accident and killing his wife," he paused, allowing his pulse to fall back down. "And just a few months ago he moved back to town. I don't think that's a coincidence, do you?"

"We don't have any evidence, Killian," Emma replied, wishing there was something more she could do. What use was being the deputy if she let criminals like Gold wander free? "Plus you know he started dating Belle. He seems like he isn't as vengeful now, like she changed him."

Killian snorted. "That's what he wants her to think so that she won't realize the crocodile he really is."

"I'll write it in the report and see what we can do, but no promises we can connect him to it," Emma sighed, asking Killian more questions about the logistics of the accident until she was sure she'd have a full report to write up tomorrow. "But if I'm being honest with you it'll probably just be classified as an accident."

"So he's going to get away with it again?" Killian growled, the revenge filled side of him that she rarely saw coming out at full force. "He gets to take away everything I love and continue to taunt me for the rest of my life and he gets his happily ever after with the librarian. I tell you, I'll take a blasted hook from my ship and put it right into the crocodile's chest where it belongs the moment I'm out of this room."

Taking a deep breath, Emma considered what the best way to calm him down was. Seeing no end to his rant in sight, she got out of the chair and put down the papers, cautiously moving as close to him as she could without sitting on the bed. Taking a deep breath and knowing there was no way to go back from this, she leaned over and kissed him. It took a few seconds to get a reaction at all from him, but she soon felt him take a sharp intake of breath before he responded to the kiss. It began like any other drunken kiss he had initiated, but when he parted his lips against hers as she would usually pull away she angled her body to get closer to him and responded with fervor.

Finally pulling away and resting her forehead on his, she waited as they both caught their breath. As much as she'd enjoy a repeat of the experience, she couldn't forget he was in the hospital after a serious accident.

"Maybe I should end up in the hospital more often," Killian murmured, his face surprisingly blank of emotions.

"Please don't," Emma responded sincerely, kissing his cheek quickly before she pulled away and stood next to the bed. "Why don't we open up the blinds and let the light in," she suggested, opening them up before Killian responded.

Emma sat down next to him on the bed again, trying to act like it wasn't odd that they had just kissed. Thankfully they fell easily into their usual conversations despite the circumstances.

When she awoke obviously some time had passed. She was curled up against Killian and he looked half asleep himself, blearily staring at the TV that played quietly in the corner. The whole situation was a lot more comfortable and normal than she'd like to admit.

"The way you were sleeping you would've thought that you were the one that was under anesthetic today," Killian joked, obviously knowing she was awake by the change in her breathing as his gaze didn't stray from the television.

"You haven't been awake the whole time, have you?" Emma asked as she gathered her bearings and sat up, hoping that she hadn't been hogging the whole bed.

"No, I woke up when they brought me my dinner," Killian responded with an eye roll, gesturing with his eyebrows towards the basically untouched plate of food in front of him. "Though I don't know why they keep insisting calling that green stuff food."

Emma smiled in spite of herself. "It's Jell-O, you eat it," she sarcastically told him, relieved when she saw a smile on his lips. "And that's what you're going to do after I leave," she finished, knowing that she had to head home. She would visit him again tomorrow and Whale had said that he would probably be able to go home a few days after that.

"Thank you for being here for me today, Emma," Killian said, reverting to using her first name as he always did when he was being honest and open with her.

"Wouldn't be anywhere else," Emma replied easily. "Got to make sure my personal pain in the ass keeps breathing."

Killian raised an eyebrow at her comment, but didn't say anything. Emma could tell, though he was trying to act fine, he was in a lot of pain and really needed to sleep. So she reluctantly bid him adieu, chastely kissed him goodbye, and headed home a lot happier than one would usually be when they were visiting someone who just lost a hand in the hospital.


	5. Confrontations

**Confrontations**

1 Year and 3 Months Ago

"I can't believe we're being this cliché," Emma told Killian as they followed Mary Margaret and David to the Spring Festival. Leave it to a town like Storybrooke to have a festival for every possible occasion.

"We are just too adorable," Killian countered, pressing a quick kiss to Emma's cheek.

And, even though she hated to admit it, Killian was right. Ever since the accident they had been dating and she was sure their constant PDA was infuriatingly annoying to the town, but she didn't even care. She was just disappointed that she and Killian had wasted months bickering and not acknowledging the obvious attraction between themselves. Mary Margaret had admitted that several people had bets going about whether they would get together or not.

"So have you ever been to this festival before?" Emma asked, tightly taking hold of Killian's hand.

"Not really," Killian answered, glancing around at the stalls around him with a wary expression. "Will and I generally just passed my rum back and forth and mercilessly mocked all the people at the festival."

Emma let out a chuckle, knowing that she would have most likely been doing the same thing if she had been in this town for years. As it was it took hours of Mary Margaret's prodding before she agreed to go to these sort of events. They were much too family friendly for her taste.

"Well then let's make sure Will has something to mock," Emma responded, zipping up her red leather jacket a bit more as the spring weather was still a bit nippy.

And, for the next hour, they did just that. As much as they pretended like they were just doing it to be facetious, Emma knew by Killian's wide smile that he was actually enjoying himself. Perhaps they would have to make this stupid festival an annual thing.

"Ahh, Captain" Mr. Gold greeted Killian when he came up behind Belle, a malicious grin on his face. Emma hadn't even noticed him coming up to them until he spoke. She supposed she should have known the day couldn't have finished without some sort of complication. "Fancy seeing you here."

Emma immediately felt Killian stiffen up next to her. She had seen the two of them interact in the past and knew the next several minutes would definitely not be pretty. "Here to gloat about taking my hand, Crocodile?" Killian hissed back at Gold.

"It seems that you may require another driving course. You sure have _accidently_ lost control of the car quite a few times," Gold replied, clearly referencing to the whole Milah debacle.

Knowing that Killian was going to react in some way or the other, Emma positioned herself slightly in front of him, hoping to deter physical violence against the older man. "Killian is more than capable," she calmly told Gold.

"I see you have yet another female conquest to hide behind," Gold countered smoothly. Apparently he knew just what to say to push Killian's buttons…

Glancing at Belle, Emma was surprised to see that she didn't appear to be making a move to lead Gold away. Perhaps she just thought it wasn't worth the fight that was sure to follow or something. "It isn't worth it," Emma murmured, interlocking her hand with Killian's and pulling on it slightly. She just had to try to turn him away from Gold and distract him. Killian's temper wasn't something anyone took lightly.

"Shame if something happened to her," Gold threatened the moment after Killian turned his gaze away.

Several things happened at the same time: Emma cursed under her breath, she heard Belle take a sudden intake of air, and Killian dropped her hand and rushed towards Gold. Before she even had time to blink, Killian had Gold pushed up against a wall, his forearm pressing against his throat with a murderous glint in his eyes.

"I'll kill you," Killian hissed, pressing down harder on Gold's throat. "I will skin you alive and won't feel a bit of remorse if you lay a finger on Emma."

Both inadvertently deciding to intervene at the same time, Emma and Belle worked against a struggling Killian. It took several moments, but Killian finally took a step back with a large huff and spat at Gold, narrowly missing the suited man. Gold, meanwhile, just dusted himself off and took a step away from the wall, acting as if the interaction hadn't fazed him in the slightest.

Emma assumed the street confrontation was over when Gold turned his back on them. However, the man just spun right around and delivered his last dig at Killian. "I don't think Milah would have appreciated it if she knew that her love traded her out for a younger whore without a second thought."

"Bloody hell," Killian groaned, taking a step towards Gold and soundly punching him in the jaw, the resonating sound oddly satisfying to Emma. She had to admit that Gold really did deserve to be punched after continually taunting Killian.

"Stop it!" Belle finally interrupted, stepping in front of Killian so he wouldn't lunge at Gold again. "You don't have to act like children. I know you are better than this, Rumple."

Emma took a step towards Killian, almost afraid to touch him with the anger radiating off of him. There were several moments of tense silence before both the men seemed to give up the fight.

Gold was the first one to speak, turning towards her. "Miss Swan, nice seeing you today," Gold said, nodding politely to Emma like they were old friends and he hadn't just insulted her. With another fake grin, Gold turned on his heels and limped away from them, appearing undeterred by Killian's right hook.

Belle, meanwhile, was deathly pale. Apparently she hadn't seen this side of her boyfriend yet. Nevertheless her poor choice in men, Emma couldn't be upset with Belle. She had known her long before she knew Gold and would consider her a friend despite the feud their significant others had maintained for years. "I'm so sorry, Emma," she muttered, glancing back at Gold's retreating back before she left to go follow after him.

"Killian," Emma groaned, taking in his clenched jaw and blazing eyes. "He was just taunting you to get you to fight him…"

He just huffed in response, cracking his neck and acting like he hadn't just attacked the pawnshop owner. "The crocodile threatened you, Emma. He deserved much worse than that."

"Hey," she murmured, placing a hand on his cheek to calm him down, cursing Gold mentally when she felt how Killian was still trembling with anger. "I can take care of myself. You don't have to worry about him hurting me."

He seemed to really consider her words before he spoke again, sounding much more like himself. "Promise me that you will tell me if he ever says anything else to you?" he swallowed. "I can't bear having him try to destroy more of my life."

Emma nodded in response, assuming that Gold wouldn't have the guts to actually do anything to her. He had just used her as the opportunity to get under Killian's skin. Instead of acting like the independent woman she was, she allowed Killian to protectively put his arm around her and lead her in the opposite direction Gold had gone.

So for the next hour Emma allowed herself to pretend nothing out of the ordinary had happened as Killian bought her more food than she could possibly eat and glared at everyone that glanced her way. They had run into Ashley, but thankfully the girl was too pregnant and uncomfortable to talk to them for long.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked once she noticed that Killian was rubbing his wrist where his prosthetic was attached and she was sure he was mostly relaxed again. He had just gotten his fake hand last week and Emma knew, even though he didn't mention it, that it hurt.

"Of course, love," Killian answered, immediately dropping his arm to his side. "Do you think we've seen all of the festival that we needed to?" he asked.

Noticing that it was starting to get dark, Emma nodded. "I had a nice time," she lied, knowing that the Gold confrontation had darkened the day for both of them. "Can we stop by the loft so I can pick up some things before we head back to your place for the night?"

"You're spending the night two nights in a row?" Killian joked with an eyebrow wiggle full of innuendo. "I didn't realize that you enjoyed my pathetic attempts at making a breakfast besides cereal so much."

"I'm pretty sure David was planning on spending the night," Emma lied. The truth was that she just really didn't want to leave him alone tonight. Who knows what he would do in the middle of the night with the fight with Gold still fresh in his mind? "And maybe we can go to Granny's for breakfast in the morning," Emma giggled, kissing Killian soundly.

…

Present

"I liked that red velvet cake. It's simple and not everyone is going to like a fruit-filled cake," Emma said, taking another bite of her grilled cheese as Mary Margaret frantically wrote down what she was suggesting into her almost full notebook.

Mary Margaret paused in her scribblings, biting her lip and glancing up at Emma. "You see, I really liked that cake too. But David told me his mom prefers vanilla over any other type of cake yesterday."

"You can't please everyone," Emma simply stated. If she was planning a wedding the last thing she would worry about would be making everyone else happy. It was just supposed to be about the newly married couple, but most people considered it to be a perfect time to prove they could show a great party. But, considering Emma was the maid of honor, she decided to shut her mouth about certain matters. She couldn't even count how many lunch dates at Granny's she and her roommate had shared with the intention of talking just about wedding plans. "Plus I thought that you had already confirmed the cake a few weeks ago."

"I did," Mary Margaret groaned, pushing away her still full plate and resting her head on the table. "Emma, take my advice and never get married. It just isn't worth the stress," she stopped, looking up at Emma with apology. It seemed as though she had forgotten about Emma's accidental marriage to Killian. Not that it was very surprising, Emma had refused to talk about it for the past week since then.

Emma just rolled her eyes, not knowing how to respond. She wasn't offended in the slightest, it wasn't like she had planned eloping with her ex. And she was getting over the situation better than she had expected to. She had met up with Killian a few times and it seemed like they were slowly transitioning back to their previous friendship. But, unbeknownst to Killian, Emma had gone to the lawyer and filed for a divorce. Now she was just waiting for the paperwork to come through and for him to sign it. She wasn't sure how she'd bring it up, but hopefully she would have time to think up something nice to say before then.

"I guess I could have a few vanilla cupcakes as well to compromise. I'll call the bakery after lunch." Mary Margaret decided, sitting up in the booth again and letting out a sigh of relief. "We've already had to put this wedding off too many times. David and I are going to get married soon no matter what else goes wrong."

Before Emma had time to commend her friend about her great wedding planning skills, the door to Granny's open and Regina walked in. Instead of ignoring all the lowly peasants around her like usual, Regina made a beeline for their table with a scowl on her face.

"What is your problem with me?" Regina hissed, putting her hands on her hips and scowling at Mary Margaret. It sure made a funny picture to Emma. The mayor who always wore tailor made clothes and appeared prim and proper looking like she was about to stab someone.

"Regina," Mary Margaret said, a polite smile that was obviously fake plastered on her face. For some reason unbeknownst to her Regina had some vendetta against the pixie haired woman. "To what are you referring to?"

Regina sent a scowl in Emma's direction as well before she replied. "You seem intent on turning my own son against me."

"I would do nothing of the sort, you are his mother," Mary Margaret defended herself. "All I'm trying to do is make Henry happy."

"First you give him that silly fairytale book and now all he talks about is how I remind him of the Evil Queen," at that Emma spat out a mouthful of water. The fact that she was unknowingly referring to she and Killian's inside joke was almost too much for her, but she managed to cover up her amusement by coughing. Regina gave her an odd look, but didn't say anything to Emma. "And now I discover that you gave him your credit card so he could find his birth mother."

Mary Margaret's eyes widened in surprise at Regina's comment. She quickly dug in her purse and pulled out her wallet, apparently finding a credit card missing when she sighed in annoyance. "I swear I didn't give him it, Regina. He must have stolen it out of my purse."

"Maybe you should keep a closer eye on your belongings so that a ten year old can't steal from you," Regina said, flipping her hair behind her shoulder as she practically threw the credit card back at Mary Margaret.

The credit card returned, Emma finally spoke up. "Did he end up finding his birth mother?"

"He told me that it didn't work, but I'm not sure if I believe him," Regina answered, sounding a lot less secure than she usually did. Perhaps she was afraid that if Henry found his birth mother he wouldn't want to be around her anymore.

"Henry's a good kid," Emma told Regina with a friendly smile. And she really did mean it. She knew Henry was smart and he deserved to have his mother appreciate him for who he truly was.

"I'm well aware of that Miss Swan," Regina said, the hostility returning to her voice. "I'm his mother," she finished before she turned and marched out of the diner.

Once she was gone Emma turned to Mary Margaret, a confused expression on her face. However, after a few moments, they both dissolved into laughter. The whole confrontation had been so ridiculous.

It didn't take long for them to divert back into talking about the wedding. Emma tried to give her honest opinion about the seating chart, but she was too busy thinking about the odd look Regina had given her to put her full attention into it.

Emma and Mary Margaret were in the process of leaving and heading back to work when Leroy burst into the diner. A rare smile filled his face when he saw that Emma was there and he ran right up to her.

"Emma I just heard!" he announced, his voice resonating throughout the diner. Of course almost everyone looked up and Ruby leaned over the counter, not even pretending like she wasn't interrupting.

"Heard what?" Emma asked. She had never got along with Leroy as much as Mary Margaret had. In her opinion he was always riling everyone up much like a town crier.

Leroy looked at her like she was stupid before he responded. "That you and Killian got married!" he said. At his words Emma immediately froze, wondering how in the hell he knew that. "I didn't even know that the two of you had gotten back together."

"What?!" Ruby shrieked, coming out from behind the counter and pulling Emma in for a tight hug. "Emma, how could you not tell me that? I knew that you two still loved each other, I knew it! I always saw the two of you at the diner sending yearning looks at each other."

Mary Margaret, noticing how stiff Emma was, spoke on her behalf. "Who did you hear that from, Leroy?"

"Ariel told me about it," Leroy explained, proud to have known before Ruby and her creepily good hearing. "I think that she heard it from Aurora who heard it from Belle."

Emma bit back a curse, knowing exactly who had started the rumor mill. It must have been Gold, trying to mess with Killian's life once again. "We were drunk," Emma interrupted, deciding that she wasn't going to perpetuate this rumor anymore. Perhaps she should have talked to Killian about what they wanted people to know, but she had already reached her last nerve with Regina and everyone else in this town today. "It was a spur of the moment decision, so it isn't like we _really_ got married."

Ruby looked just heartbroken at her words, grabbing Emma's left hand and looking at it. "So he didn't even give you a ring?"

"We aren't going to stay married," Emma murmured, wishing the residents of Storybrooke didn't assume she was comfortable sharing details of her personal lives all the time.

"You guys aren't even going to try to work it out?" Ruby asked, her mouth flying open in shock. It certainly was a surprise to no one that the waitress was the biggest fan of Emma and Killian's relationship.

Emma pressed her lips together, knowing she had to leave before she said something offensive. "We'd appreciate it if everyone wasn't gossiping about it," Emma said, pushing past Leroy on her way out of Granny's before anyone had time to respond.

She knew that Mary Margaret would be able to ease the tension for her. Plus, in addition to filling out paperwork this afternoon she'd have to call Killian and let him know that everyone in the town would soon know about their accidental marriage. Why did everything have to just keep getting more complicated?


	6. Contracts

**Contracts**

Present

"Are you hiding out in here again?" Belle asked, her voice breaking through the silence of the library.

"Nope," Emma lied as she put the book she had been glancing through back on the shelf. In truth she had come here for her lunch break and simply didn't want to go back to the station. She had a message on her phone from the lawyer saying that the divorce papers were ready to be picked up and she didn't want to deal with that right now or ever.

Belle just gave her a knowing look, walking over to her in her usual high heels. Emma didn't understand why she dressed so fancy all the time to sit in a library that very few people came into anyway. Perhaps it was expected of her now that she and Gold were married. Their whole relationship still bothered Emma a bit if she was being honest.

"If you want to talk about something I'll just be sitting here reading," Belle replied, sitting down at the front desk and grabbing a book. She opened it and pretended to start reading.

Emma rolled her eyes. Now this is why she liked Belle, she wouldn't judge her no matter what she said. "It's about how Killian and I accidently got married," she said, stating the obvious. "We just don't acknowledge it to each other at all."

"I wasn't aware that the two of you were talking again," Belle commented without looking up from her book. She even turned the page then, the small action making Emma grin.

"We are," Emma answered, surprised that Belle hadn't heard all the gossip already. "Back to being just good friends," she paused before admitting what the real issue is. "Which is why I feel like I'm lying to him because I haven't told him that I filled for divorce and the papers are ready."

Belle finally looked up from her book then, sending Emma a sad smile. "But weren't the two of you always planning on getting a quick divorce?"

Nodding in response, Emma spoke up. "It just feels weird to be associated with him legally…"

"Oh, I would've thought you would have been used to that," Belle murmured. "You know, since Killian being the one filing all the legal proceedings against your ex."

What? What was Belle referring to? Emma certainly had no idea, but she wasn't about to let the librarian know that. "I guess you're right," she said, glancing at her watch so that she would be able to leave. "It's a lot later than I thought; I'd better get back to the station."

Emma heard Belle's farewell, but her mind was somewhere else entirely. Sure Killian knew about Neal from what little she told him, but legal proceedings? What the hell did that mean? Emma had tried to find Neal a few years before she moved to Storybrooke to no avail. Since then she had decided it was a lost cause and it wasn't like she wanted to see the man who had left her knocked up in jail anyway.

She headed straight to the docks to confront Killian. She just had to know the truth about this. It very well could be that it wasn't true, that it was just something Gold had told Belle just to spite Killian again. Or it could be true and he had not told her about it.

Peering into his office window, Emma let out a groan when she saw it was empty. However, she pushed the door open and stepped inside, relieved that the door was unlocked. If he wasn't here to question she would find out the truth through more creative means.

Unsure if Killian would return to his office today, Emma closed the door behind her and glanced around. Seeing nothing obviously out of place, she sat down at his desk. It was surprisingly clutter free and she knew he had recently begrudgingly transferred everything over to the computer.

Praying that he hadn't changed his password, Emma typed it in, letting out a breath of relief when it logged on and the familiar ping of the computer filling the silence of the room. She had a few moments of reluctance to invading his privacy before she reasoned that he always swore he told her the truth.

Searching through his files with a proficiency she had learned due to year's criminals people down, she finally found what she feared. There was a folder, carefully hidden in his documents, labeled 'Neal'.

"Please be about somebody else," she whispered to the open air before she clicked on the folder.

It was almost an hour later when Emma leaned back in the chair, finally understanding what had happened thanks to Killian's thorough documentation and organization. Over a year ago Neal had tried to track her down and, since she wasn't exactly hiding, he had figured out she was in Storybrooke. Somehow Gold had been the one to tell him…In response Gold had contacted Killian, telling him it was his choice whether to tell Emma or not that Neal was looking for her. Obviously Killian had decided to keep it a secret.

Exchanging a few curt emails with Neal, Killian had tried to convince him that Emma didn't want anything to do with him. When that didn't work Killian had contacted a lawyer and reached a deal with Neal, paying an absurd amount of money to keep Neal from coming to Storybrooke. There were a few updates over the last few months, but it seemed as if Killian had effectively silenced her ex from her life forever.

A part of her was thankful for his intervention; she didn't know how she'd respond to Neal coming here. However, the fact that Killian had taken the liberty to interfere with her personal life in such a large way bothered her. Even when they were together Emma had made sure to have solid boundaries, not wanting to lose her identity into a 'we' instead of an 'I'.

Plus fact that Gold had told Killian at all was the most confounding part of it all. It was almost like the pawnshop owner was trying to help him, but that couldn't be the case. It was probably part of some elaborate scheme for Emma to find out Killian had been keeping Neal from her.

Not knowing how to process all the new information, Emma quickly got rid of all the evidence of her snooping and logged off the computer. Once she was sure that was done, she checked once more to make sure everything was in place before she swiftly left his office.

Emma was mostly just wandering down the street when she ran right into Archie out walking his dog. This was the last thing she needed right now, a psychiatrist analyzing her.

"Emma, how are you doing today?" Archie asked cheerfully as he patted her on the arm.

"Fine, just going to grab something at Granny's before I head back to the station," Emma explained, wishing everyone in this town weren't so darn friendly all the time. What she would give to walk down the street without having to stop for ten rounds of pleasantries again.

Archie looked her up and down before he responded. "Are you sure about that, Emma?" he asked.

That was just like him, to see when someone needed to talk. She supposed that is what made him so good at his job, but she didn't really feel like a sidewalk session with Archie today. "Yep, just have a lot of paperwork that needs to get done today."

"You know I'd be available anytime if you want someone to talk about the complicated situation with Killian with," Archie suggested, acting all innocent as he prodded at her private life.

"It really isn't a big deal or anyone else's business," Emma retorted with a sharper tone than she probably should have. After all, Archie was just trying to help.

"I ran into Killian a few days ago and he seemed confused about the future of your relationship," Archie explained.

It didn't surprise Emma one bit that Archie had managed to corner Killian as well. However, it picked at Emma's already frayed nerves that Killian had shared personal information with Archie. "There is no future," Emma replied flatly. "We are just friends and that is what we are going to stay."

"Emma, it may be beneficial to let him know that as well," Archie suggested, pulling on the leash to keep Pongo from wandering further away.

"I've really got to get going," Emma finished, turning her back to Archie without a goodbye.

She turned the other direction once she was out of Archie's line of site. Her brief talk with Archie had changed her destination and now she knew exactly what she needed to do.

A few hours later, the day heavy on her shoulders, Emma found herself standing in front of Killian's door. Deciding that he didn't deserve an in face explanation after he had not told her about Neal, Emma slid the thick packet of divorce papers under his door, hurrying away before he opened the door and saw that she had been crying.

…

Seven Months Ago

"Turn it off," Emma groaned, pushing her head harder against her pillow as the beeping alarm clock grated against her ears.

She tried to get a few more minutes sleep, but knew that would be impossible as Killian got out of bed and turned off his phone's alarm, his heavy footsteps preventing her from joining dreamland again. Of course this happened almost every time he stayed over. He had to go to work earlier than she did, hence the early wake up call.

"Does it really have to be a Monday?" Emma complained as she rolled over and blinked a few times so her eyes would adjust to the bright sunlight filling the room. Yet another thing she needed to invest in: better blinds.

"Sorry, love," Killian joked as he sat back down next to her and kissed her on the forehead. "But I warned you that if you drank that coffee last night it'd take you ages to fall asleep."

Emma stifled a yawn, lightly pushing Killian away as she slowly sat up. "Shut up," she told him. "Go take your shower now so Mary Margaret doesn't get annoyed that she has to push hers back a few minutes again."

Shrugging off his shirt and throwing it on the floor just to bug her, Killian sent her a wink. "You sure you don't want to join me, love?"

Ignoring the loud voice that was telling her to take him up on the offer, Emma just rolled her eyes in response. After his best attempt at a puppy dog face refused to sway her, he left to go take his solo shower.

Emma, meanwhile, padded downstairs to make coffee. However, she was surprised to see Mary Margaret sitting at the table eating eggs, looking very perky for early in the morning. She was already dressed and ready to start her day and, judging by the smile that lit up her face when she saw Emma, she was very excited.

"What are you doing up so early?" Emma asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee from the pot her roommate had made. "No offense but you usually aren't such a morning person."

"Just woke up early to a sweet phone call from David," Mary Margaret explained, her voice sickly sweet as she spoke about her fiancé.

Emma bit back a snarky reply. Even after all this time seeing them together it was still hard to believe they were as perfect as they appeared, but they really were disgustingly happy together. "I certainly wouldn't be this bubbly if Killian called me early in the morning and woke me up."

"Depends on what he said," was Mary Margaret's immediate reply. "I take it either Killian spent the night again or we have an intruder judging by the running shower," she teased.

"You know David spends the night just as often as Killian does," Emma retorted as she sunk into a chair sipping her steaming coffee.

"I'm not saying anything against it," Mary Margaret teased with her hands up like she had just been arrested. "Just saying it seems like he's making you really happy."

Hating herself for the cliché smile filling her face, Emma just shot her friend a sharp look. "Onion rings make me happy too," she mentioned. The truth was that Killian did make her _really_ happy. She thinks they complement each other nicely, rounding out each other's rough edges.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Mary Margaret spoke up again. "The phone call this morning was David telling me that we got the house," she said excitedly. Although their wedding had been put off by David's mom getting sent to the hospital, the couple had already put several offers down on family homes. Even though they weren't going to live together before they were married, Mary Margaret was old-fashioned that way, David wanted to move into the house they had both fallen in love with as soon as possible.

"That's good news," Emma said, looking up to see Killian coming down the stairs already ready for work. "Did you hear Snow White and Prince Charming got their fairytale castle?" she asked him as he sat down next to her after a friendly greeting to Mary Margaret.

"Congrats on that," Killian nodded to Mary Margaret. "The real estate market in Storybrooke has never really been booming, you're lucky there were houses for sale when you started looking."

While Killian and her roommate talked about their past horror stories of trying to find lodging, Emma got up and wandered to the pantry. "You okay with toast, Killian?" she asked, pulling out a bag of bread with a few pieces left in it. Judging by what little food she had, she really needed to go shopping.

"I'm not staying for breakfast, love. I don't know if I can stomach your stale toast anymore." Killian told her, a teasing tone in his voice. "In truth I have to go pick something up from my apartment before work and there is a piece of pizza in my fridge that is just waiting for me."

"That's it, you are officially a five-year old boy," Emma retorted, dropping the bread on the counter as she turned to face him.

Killian put his hand over his heart, a pained expression on his face. "You wound me, Swan," he moaned.

Emma heard Mary Margaret chuckle at their exchange as she leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips. "I'm working late at the station tonight, but maybe we can have lunch tomorrow?" she asked, answered by a kiss on the cheek from Killian.

"Such a long separation," Killian joked as he stood in the doorway. It was a well-known fact that they were practically always together. Emma blamed it on the fact that there was nothing to do in Storybrooke and it was such a small town. "Just don't forget I love you," he said, backing away with a forlorn expression on his face like he was marching off to war and would never see her again.

"Love you, too," Emma called after him, hating herself for being so cutesy with her boyfriend.

After Emma had eaten her toast, Mary Margaret brought up the house again, talking about how adorable it was and how excited she was to live there. "Are you going to keep the loft when I move out, Emma?" she asked. "I know it is a while away, but the lease will be up in a few months…"

"I don't know if I'd need this much room to myself," Emma answered. Unbeknownst to her friend, Killian had brought it up a few weeks back. It had taken much convincing on his part, but eventually she had caved. "I'm planning on moving into Killian's apartment."

Mary Margaret wrinkled her nose up, a response Emma was not expecting. She assumed her friend would start squealing about how Emma was really committing to someone. "The loft is a lot nicer than his apartment. One of the reasons I never moved in was David is because I didn't want to live in a boy apartment."

"I can suck it up," Emma reminded her friend. "Plus we have a few months to figure out the logistics anyway. Killian's been badgering me to go look at bigger apartments with him anyway, so we probably will be moving into a different one anyway."

"So I assume you've talked about getting married in the future as well? I mean that conversation usually goes hand in hand with the one about moving in together," Mary Margaret asked, excitement lighting up her face. "Emma! Why didn't you tell me? When do you think he's going to propose? Maybe on your one-year anniversary next month, that'd be so romantic."

"There's nothing to tell," Emma responded, stopping her roommate's excited rant about proposals. Mary Margaret was once again proof that everyone in this town was obsessed with getting married. "Neither of us are really the marrying type, so neither of us have brought it up. And it appears that you'd better head to work," Emma finished, nodding at the clock as Mary Margaret hustled around the loft getting ready to leave and she went upstairs to take a nice, hot shower.

Emma was dreaming of a long, relaxing bubble bath as the end of the day neared. It had been an unusually stressful day at work and she hadn't even started on the stacks of paperwork yet. She glanced down at her phone, wondering if she should call Killian and ask him to bring her a bear claw.

Her train of thought was broken when she heard the man in the jail cell shift around, obviously waking up from his drunken sleep. She groaned; guess she wasn't going to get that donut after all.

"How you feeling?" she asked Will once she stood in front of the bars.

She hoped he wasn't feeling well after all the trouble she had caused from him today. First she had to break up a fight at the bar between him and Leroy at _10 in the morning_. Only a few hours later she had gotten a call from Eric saying that Will had attempted to steal a boat. Honestly she should have brought him in and locked him up until he was sober at that point, but she cut him some slack and sent him home to sleep it off because he was one of Killian's closest friends. But then, around an hour ago, she had gotten a call from a frantic call from Belle because Will had broken one of the library windows, climbed in, and passed out in a pile of books.

"Bloody hell," Will groaned as he rolled over and blinked at the bright lights. "Can't you let a man sleep?"

"I gave you enough chances already today," Emma replied, rolling her eyes as Will melodramatically stretched and sat up on the uncomfortable cell bench. "Now I wasn't surprised by the fight or even stealing a boat, but why would you break into the library?"

Will rolled his neck, putting on a neutral expression before he spoke again. "That's none of your business now is it?"

"If you want to be walking out of here anytime soon it is," Emma retorted, swinging the cell keys in her hands. "Then you are going to tell me."

"Fine, I wanted to see if the library had a copy of Alice in Wonderland," he finally answered, slouching further into this leather jacket as he averted his eyes.

"A children's book?" Emma asked, growing more confused by the second. "Why would that matter to you?"

Apparently deciding he wanted his freedom, Will begrudgingly told her the truth. "It was her favorite book; she always talked about how she wanted to go there…and today is her birthday."

"Your ex?" Emma guessed, answered by a hard stare from Will. She knew vague details about his ex, but Killian was always very tightlipped about the whole thing, saying it wasn't his story to tell. All she knew was that he had been in love with a girl who completely crushed him. "Why don't you contact her instead of getting drunk and breaking into libraries?" she wondered aloud, full well knowing that she would never take the advice herself.

"I don't care about her," Will practically hissed, though his behavior told her otherwise. "Anastasia just up and left out of the blue to marry some rich, old bloke, she can rot for all I care."

Emma sighed, knowing she couldn't let him spend the night in jail; she empathized with him too much. She knew what it felt like to be betrayed by someone from the months she had spent in jail for Neal's crime. "Come on," she muttered, unlocking the door and motioning for Will to get up and follow her. "I'm going to drive you home and if you want to tell me anything else you are more than welcome to."

Once she had him safely in his apartment and knew he wouldn't cause any more trouble, Emma reluctantly headed back to the station. Sure Will hadn't told her anything else tonight, but she felt like he at least trusted her now and that was accomplishment enough for a shitty day.


	7. Fairytales

**Fairytales**

Present

Emma groaned when someone knocked on the door _again._ She hoped it was Killian. He had cut off all contact with her since last week when she had slid the divorce papers under his door. The next morning he had come over, stone-faced, and handed the papers back to her signed. The fact that he just turned and left without saying anything hurt her more than anything else. He felt betrayed by her and, even though she had not explicitly lied to him, she knew he had a reason to be upset. Since then she had called him a few times, but he never picked up or called her back.

It was her day off work and she had been planning on sleeping in late, but the person at the door sure was persistent. Promising herself she'd go back to bed once she opened the door, Emma reluctantly got up and answered the door.

However, it was almost the last person she expected to see when she opened the door.

"Hey, Emma," Henry said as if him popping by was a regular occurrence.

When she just stood there confused, Henry pushed past her into the loft, dumping his backpack on the floor. He turned towards her then, smiling innocently as he waited for her to speak.

"If you're here to see Mary Margaret she isn't here, kid," Emma replied, assuming that is what he wanted. And it wasn't like her roommate had been here often lately. She was getting married next week and had basically already moved into their new house last weekend.

"Oh, I'm here to see you," Henry responded, kneeling down and rummaging through his backpack as Emma stood there confused. Why now all of a sudden had this kid taken such an interest in her?

"See me about what?" Emma asked, wondering if he had sought her out because she was the deputy.

Henry just sighed like she wasn't catching onto something. With some effort, Henry pulled out a large and old-looking book from his bag and slammed it down on the kitchen counter. "I want to show you this book," he explained. "Also do you have any juice? I didn't really get to eat breakfast before I left."

Emma frowned; wondering if that was the same book that Regina had mentioned when she confronted Mary Margaret in the diner a few weeks ago. "Does your mom know you're here?" she asked as she riffled through the fridge, sighing in relief when she had some grape juice in the back from who knows when.

Eagerly taking the glass and gulping it down, Henry answered. "She doesn't know I'm here technically," he said with a guilty look on his face. "But she dropped me off at Granny's to have breakfast and I came here instead. It'll be fine though, I'll go to school on time and she'll never know."

"As long as you are sure it is okay," Emma sighed, knowing there was no sense arguing with this headstrong boy. "Now what was it you wanted to tell me?"

"This book has all these fairytales in it," he replied, sitting down and flipping through a few pages of the book. "I've read all of it and my mom reminds me of the Evil Queen."

Emma nodded, remembering Regina sharing that information with her. "You don't actually think your mom is the Evil Queen in this book do you, Henry?" she asked, thinking that maybe Archie would be better suited for this conversation than her.

"Sadly, no," Henry responded, looking so heartbroken that Emma awkwardly patted him on the shoulder. "I know these are just stories, but they got me thinking…I can sort of match up everyone in this town with a fairytale character."

"Who am I?" Emma couldn't help but ask, curious about what Henry's imagination thought of her.

Henry gave her a small smile before he answered. "You're Snow White and Prince Charming's daughter and Killian's your Prince.

"We're not together anymore, kid," Emma told him, wondering how the kid had gone so many months without hearing the town gossip. She wasn't even going to comment about how spot on he had been about Mary Margaret and David.

"I _know_ ," Henry sighed, rolling his eyes as he took another drink of his juice. "But that's just because life isn't as easy as a fairytale and not everyone gets their happy endings."

Surprised by the brutal honesty in his words, Emma frowned. She had underestimated him, this kid was smart. It was odd that many people in this town shared names with fairytale characters, so Emma wasn't even surprised he made the connection. "Okay, well then who do you remind yourself of?" she said, enjoying this little game Henry was playing with her. "Pinocchio?"

"Of course I'm not Pinocchio," Henry retorted, the expression so upset at the suggestion that Emma bit back a laugh. "I'm not in the book."

Wanting to change that, Emma leaned closer to Henry and flipped through several pages of the book, looking for inspiration. It really was an amazing book: the illustrations were lifelike and, though it followed the basic fairytale pattern, it was a lot more gruesome and complicated than Disney movies.

"How about Peter Pan?" Emma suggested, flipping quickly through the well-known story of Neverland.

"Nah, I'm fine with not being in the book," Henry answered, looking the picture of innocence with his scarf wrapped around his neck and a content expression on his face. "Though if I were I'd want to be the Princess's son."

Emma froze, wondering if he was referring to her. She was sure there were many princesses in the book, but why had he shown up at her front door telling her about the book? "You're Regina's kid and I know she can be strict, but she loves you," Emma explained, hoping to let him down gently.

"Regina isn't my real mom," Henry assured her. "You are.

"No I'm not," Emma retorted, her face going pale. This really wasn't funny now.

Henry appeared undeterred. "You gave up a child for adoption ten years ago," he chirped off as Emma froze. He really wasn't kidding. "And that's me."

"How do you know that?" Emma whispered, taking a step back. She hadn't told many people in Storybrooke about the son she had given up, so why would Henry know that unless he was telling the truth…

"I found this website that could track you down," Henry explained, appearing rather confident in his tracking abilities. "It's odd that you happen to live in the same town as me, but it saved me a trip," he paused, beaming at her. "But you're my mom."

"I'm your mom?" Emma repeated, dumbstruck. She knew immediately it was true and it all made sense now: the stolen credit card, the secret smile he shared with her, and why Mary Margaret said he had been asking about her lately.

"Yep, if it was anyone I was hoping it would be you," Henry casually continued, not realizing what a big deal this was to Emma. He bent down and picked up his backpack, swinging it on and sending Emma a large smile as she stood in the same spot, not sure how to respond. "Anyway I've got to go to school now. I'll see you later."

And, offering her an adorable wave, Henry left the loft. After dropping a bomb like that, the kid just left like it was no big deal. Emma continued to stare at the place where Henry had been standing, not believing what had happened. After her two years of living in a random town in Maine she discovered that the Mayor's kid was her son. What kind of coincidence was that?

…

Five Months Ago

"We should probably head back," Emma suggested, knowing that she was teetering on the edge between tipsy and drunk.

"You're so straight-laced," Ruby retorts, slamming down another shot. Emma swears that woman has a hollow leg with how much alcohol she can consume before it even affects her. Although she has had several more drinks than her, Ruby is about the same level of drunk that she is. "But this place is pretty lame for a Saturday night," she finished, glancing around the bar that is mostly empty. Emma would normally respond that it's already 2 in the morning and they hadn't even gotten to the bar until midnight, so of course it was empty.

Emma nodded her head, knowing from the expression on the bartender's face he was thankful she was trying to wrap up the night. "Why don't we go back to my place," Emma says, knowing that Mary Margaret was spending the night at David's.

"Fine," Ruby growls, turning away from the bar and getting ready to follow Emma home. "But next time I'm going to get you laid."

"Not really feeling meaningless sex right now, Ruby," Emma laughs as she steps out into the fresh air. That may be how Ruby deals with her problems, but Emma knows, from previous experiences in her early 20's, it just doesn't work for her. If anything it makes her feel even more like shit. "Surprised you're still here with me anyway, the way you were hanging onto Gus earlier on tonight."

Ruby just laughed in response. "You know I've only got eyes for Victor right now."

"Has he asked you out yet?" Emma asked, feeling more relaxed as they got closer to the loft. Oh how she wanted to take these heels off and sit on the couch.

"We're still in the 'good friends' phase," Ruby complained once Emma had unlocked the door and she flopped onto the couch.

Emma was honestly surprised Ruby still had her sights set on Victor Whale. A few months ago Ruby had helped the doctor deal with an unresolved issue and since then was determined to become a one-man woman for him. Their relationship was progressing slowly, but Emma had a feeling that they would end up together, no matter how unlikely the circumstances.

While Ruby lounged on the couch, Emma went to the kitchen and pulled out a bag of chips before she sat down next to her friend. "So, just curious, who in this town would you want me to do the nasty with?" Emma asked, curious as to who Ruby would suggest.

"Finally," Ruby groaned, grabbing a few chips before she answered. "Well a lot of the yummy guys are taken, unfortunately, but you still have a wide selection to choose from if you wear that tight red dress," she suggested. "I know you think he's crazy, but Jefferson sure is pretty," Ruby continued when Emma just scowled. She and Jefferson had an awkward run-in not long after she moved here, so even in her imagination he was a definite no. "And I happen to know for a fact Walsh is obsessed with you…he's pretty cute."

"You know he called me at the station last week and asked me out," Emma interrupted. She found it annoying he had called her at work, when she first answered she assumed it was an emergency, but it was just Walsh. "Maybe in a few months I'll let him buy me a fancy dinner, but we'll see."

Ruby looked forlorn, something that surprised Emma. For all her talk about Emma hooking up with someone she really shouldn't be upset that Emma thought she might date someone eventually. From the beginning Ruby had been the biggest fan of she and Killian's relationship, pestering Emma constantly about whether Killian lived up to his reputation or not. But she hadn't mentioned him since they broke up last month, to which Emma was very thankful for.

"And then there's always the mysterious Will," Ruby said after a few moments of silence, wiggling her eyebrows at Emma.

"No!" Emma shrieked, throwing a potato chip at Ruby's head. "Come on, that isn't even funny, he's Killian's best friend. It'd be like sleeping with his brother or something. Plus, Killian would kill Will if he ever found out and I don't want to be the cause of a murder."

"You showed me pictures of Killian's brother before," Ruby muttered, fixing Emma with a heavy stare. "It'd be a pleasure; those Jones boys have good genes."

Emma leaned back in the couch, allowing herself to laugh freely for the first time in weeks. "You know we really haven't spent enough time one on one before," she murmured. It was true for most people in Storybrooke actually. She had moved here already knowing Mary Margaret and David, so she was often with them. And she had only been here a few months when she started spending most of her time with Killian.

"I think everyone just travels in packs in Storybrooke," Ruby commented as she leaned further back into the pillows. "Now turn the TV on before I fall asleep."

Rolling her eyes, Emma obliged and turned on the TV, switching to the DVD player once she realized there was nothing but infomercials on so late at night. However, when she hit play, hoping there was a DVD in the player so she wouldn't have to stand up, she immediately froze.

"Turn it up; I loved this movie when I was a kid," Ruby said, breaking through the torrent of thoughts racing through Emma's head. When Emma didn't move and she noticed the look on her face, Ruby spoke. "Wait, what's wrong?"

"Killian loved this movie," Emma explained, wincing as that stupid song about a pirate's life began. Why a grown man still enjoyed this Disney movie was beyond her. Hell, he'd even named that stupid pirate ship the Jolly Roger after Peter Pan.

Without saying anything Ruby stood up, turning off the TV before sitting back down next to Emma. "Hey, do you want to talk about it?" she asked when Emma stayed silent.

"No," Emma lied, wishing the tight feeling in the back of her throat would go away. She took a deep breath, cursing herself for not being stronger before she spoke again. "It's just that I really love," she stopped herself, changing the last word. "I really _loved_ him. And it has been a month, but I still wake up every morning hoping it was a bad dream and that he'll be asleep next to me."

"Of course you aren't entirely over him," Ruby answered, resting a comforting hand on Emma's shoulder. "It hasn't been long and you guys were really serious."

Allowing herself to talk about it thanks to the alcohol running through her system, Emma responded. "I hate that everything reminds me of him," she admitted. "This is why I don't let guys in. Because it gives them the power to break me like this and I just can't afford to keep putting myself back together again."

"I never thought I'd let anything in again after I lost Peter," Ruby said with a deep breath. "But I'm happy now, Emma. I'll always miss him, but I can be just as happy with someone else."

Emma blinked back the tears in her eyes at Ruby's honest words, deciding to suck it back up. "I just want to be happy with Killian," Emma whispered. "But I need to get used to life without him. So turn Peter Pan back on and I'm going to make popcorn and margaritas," Emma ordered, getting off the couch without preamble.

Two hours later, Peter Pan finished and stuck on the menu page with Ruby asleep next to her, Emma made a snap decision. Getting up slowly so she wouldn't disturb Ruby, Emma grabbed her phone on the table and went up to her room. Clicking on the number she had vowed never to use again, she sent him a few texts telling him to call her.

After a few minutes without a response and not wanting to wait any longer, Emma called him, not bothering to leave a message. As she was about to try calling him for the fifth time, her phone lit up. He was calling her back.

Immediately cursing herself for actually contacting him, Emma reluctantly answered.

"Are you okay, love?" came Killian's panicked voice before she even had the time to say anything. "Tell me what's wrong, Emma."

It took a moment for her to respond as Killian's responses became even more panicked. "I'm fine," she lied, hoping it wasn't obvious to him that she was drunk and on the verge of tears. "I was just watching Peter Pan with Ruby."

"Aye," Killian responded, either not noticing the trembling in her voice or just choosing not to acknowledge it. "That stupid Captain Hook thing," he said, referring to the fact that after he lost his hand he had joked about getting a hook as a prosthetic and going all out with his pirate jokes.

"Killian," Emma sighed, wondering what she should say so that she wouldn't sound so pathetic. "I'm drunk and I miss you. Can I come over?"

"It's four in the morning," Killian breathed, a rustling sound filling her phone as he moved around. "Go to bed before you say something you'll regret."

Emma huffed. This wasn't what she expected to him from him. She had expected him to tell her how much he loved her and how sorry he was for everything that happened. "You don't love me anymore?" she asked, her voice sounding pathetic even to her drunk ears.

"Gods, Emma," Killian cursed loudly then, obviously not dealing well with the late night, well now early morning call. "The fact that you are even asking that…of course I do," there was a long pause. "I really think I should hang up now, Swan. You know I love hearing from you and this is going against everything I stand for, but it won't help either of us."

"I'm ready to hear your side of the story," Emma interrupted, knowing that she had Killian's attention now. "I was too angry to listen before, but I want to know the truth now. I need to know whether you slept with Tink or not."

There were several seconds of silence before he responded. "If you still want to talk to me when you're sober," Killian paused for almost a minute. "Then we can meet for coffee tomorrow afternoon and I'll tell you everything."

"I'll see you tomorrow. Or later on today I guess." Emma said, surprised when he actually hung up on her after a terse goodbye a few seconds later.

She was ready to hear him out; she just hoped she'd still want to when she woke up in the morning.


	8. Motherhood

**Motherhood**

Present

"Ashley!" Emma called out when she saw her blonde friend walking down the street. "Do you think we could talk for a few minutes?"

"Sure," Ashley answered, smiling as she followed Emma into Granny's and sat down. "I have a few minutes until I have to go pick up Alex from daycare," she said, referring to her young son.

"We don't have much time, so I'll just go right into it," Emma said, already having planned what she was going to say to Ashley. It had been a bit of good luck to run into her, she had been planning on calling her that evening anyway. "Yesterday Henry came over and told me I'm his mom."

Ashley's eyes grew large for a moment as she took in the information. When Ashley had found herself pregnant, unmarried and young much like Emma had been when she had Henry, Emma had shared her experiences with the girl. "Wow, that's a bombshell. What'd you say?"

"Didn't have time," Emma responded. "He left for school, but he called later and asked me to meet him for cocoa tomorrow."

"So you are going to get to know him?" Ashley asked, looking excited before her face fell. "Wait, does Regina know?"

Emma sighed, hoping she wouldn't get a migraine again today. "Regina doesn't know and I really don't know how she'll respond when she finds out…she's always been so territorial of Henry," Emma explained. "And I don't know whether I should get to know him. I mean, I gave him up."

"Obviously he doesn't hold it against you that you gave him up for adoption if he's seeking you out, you were just trying to give him his best shot," Ashley murmured, knowing full well all the emotions that Emma was feeling.

"I guess," Emma mumbled. She was just so confused and overwhelmed right now. On top of the new Henry drama she had to help with the finishing touches on her friends' wedding and Killian still hadn't talked to her. "What made you decide to keep Alex?"

Ashley frowned, obviously not a fan of talking about it. Before she had her daughter she had decided to give her up for adoption, even signing a shady contract with Gold. However, with Emma's help, she had been able to keep her baby. "Honestly it was the thought that I'd always be wondering about her: what she looked like, if she was happy, if she wanted to get to know me too."

Emma nodded, understanding. She had the same thoughts before she gave Henry up, but she knew she wasn't in the position to raise a baby being an ex-con right out of prison with no family or friends to help her. "But what if he doesn't like me once he really gets to know me?" Emma admitted her fear.

"He's your son," Ashley told her, sincerity in her voice. "He'll love you just for being there. Just think, if you found your parents would you care who they were, or would you just be thankful and love them?"

Blinking back tears, Emma knew the answer immediately. After Ashley apologized that she had to go pick up her daughter and left, Emma pulled out her phone and called Henry back to tell him that she was looking forward to their coffee date tomorrow.

…

5 Months and 3 Weeks Ago

Climbing the steps to his apartment for the first time in two weeks felt surreal. She had sworn she would never come there again, but yet here she was.

She had finally picked herself back up after they had broken up. The first few nights she made Mary Margaret hide her phone from her so she wouldn't call Killian, begging for an explanation. Thankfully, her roommate didn't say anything about it and remained as supportive as possible. She made sure Emma always had her favorite ice cream in the freezer, took the box of Killian's possessions back to him so she wouldn't have to see them lying around, and didn't make Emma talk about it.

But Emma knew even the trusting Mary Margaret would only go so far. So that's how she ended up sitting outside Killian's apartment door, wishing she hadn't returned her key just so that she wouldn't have to sit on the uncomfortable and hard hallway floor. She really should have waited until he was off work, but she knew if she didn't talk to him about it now she never would.

It must have been at least twenty unsuccessful games of solitaire on her phone before she heard Killian's loud footsteps signaling that he was almost there. She was still in the process of standing up when he was in front of her.

"Have you been here long? I would have come here straight away if you would have called me," Killian immediately began speaking, clearly nervous as he scratched behind his ear and looked down at his shoes.

"I didn't want to bother you," Emma said in a rush, wondering how she should act around him now. She really didn't have much history with interacting with ex-boyfriends to know what they right procedure was. With Neal she had never seen him since he set her up to go to jail and Graham had died.

"Emma you could never," he stopped as he juggled with his keys for a moment, clearly nervous about why she had unexpectedly shown up at his door. Pushing his door open, he partly turned to face the blonde. "Do you want to go somewhere and talk or come in?"

Fumbling with her jacket, Emma looked at the wall, avoiding his gaze. "I need to tell you something," she whispered, following him as he stepped into his apartment.

She automatically glanced around. It was a lot messier than she was used to and that was putting it lightly. There were take-out containers and mostly empty alcohol bottles littered over the kitchen counter and it looked like he needed to do laundry. A small part of Emma was relieved that he hadn't bounced back happily either. Even after Gold had, to the surprise of everyone in the town, dropped any charges against him for breaking into his shop the night they broke up, she worried that something had happened between the two men. However, her worries seemed to be nothing as Killian was clearly just being a recluse lately. What can she say? Even though he had lived here longer than her most of the town was not a big fan of Killian Jones after he broke Emma Swan's heart.

"Umm," Killian spun around in the circle, clearly looking for a space to sit. Finally he decided on the kitchen barstools, throwing the clothes hanging off of them to the floor and motioning for Emma to sit.

"I'd rather stand," she admitted. It felt safer this way, standing. Like she could run any second if she wanted to. She glanced up at him then, eagerly taking in the sight of him looking at her again. His scruff was longer than she was used to and she thought that he could do with a good shave and haircut. But, other than that, he looked exactly the same as always. She hated how much she missed him most of all.

"I'm late," she rushed out in one breath, watching him to see if he knew what she was referencing to.

He just furrowed his brow, clearly not understanding what she was referencing. "Late for what? Do you need me to drive you somewhere?"

"No, I'm _late,"_ Emma repeated, enunciating the word and raising an eyebrow, really hoping he wouldn't make her say the words that would make this whole situation seem more real.

Obviously what she meant dawned on him then because his eyes widened and he took a step backwards, his gaze flicking back and forth from her stomach to her face. "But, but," Killian muttered, rocking his weight from one foot to the other. "We were always more than careful… How late?" he asked, his accent becoming thicker as it always did when he was stressed.

"Almost two weeks," Emma answered, crossing her arms over her stomach so Killian would stop staring at it. "But I don't know anything yet. It could just be stress. I haven't taken a test yet, so it is probably nothing," she finished, turning on her heels and making like she was about to leave. There, her job of telling him about it was done.

"Wait, what?" Killian gasped, stepping forwards and grabbing her arm so that she turned to face him again. "You think you can just drop a bomb like that and leave?"

Emma nodded, praying her eyes weren't filling up with tears. "That's more than you deserve after cheating on me."

"I've told you I didn't," he huffed, collecting himself a moment later. "But that doesn't even matter right now. You just told me that you may be pregnant with our baby and you expect me to let you just walk out that door?"

The moment Killian used the 'b' word Emma's floodgates broke open. Before then she had been careful to not think of it as a tangible thing, just a scare. Except now it could be real and, if it was, she had no idea in hell what she was going to do. As soon as the tears started leaking out of her eyes Killian enveloped her in his arms, obviously trying to comfort her. The only issue was that being this close to him made it even worse, so she escaped his arms by moving down towards the floor and curling in on herself. She held her eyes shut as she felt him kneel down next to her, telling him in a gasping voice. "I can't go through this again. I already gave up a baby for adoption. I don't know if I could do that again, but I would have too much guilt keeping this baby knowing I have another kid out there. And I couldn't be a mother anyway. I don't want everyone to have to help me just because I would be a single mother. I just don't know what to do."

"Don't worry, everything will be alright," Killian said once she had gained some control over herself. "And you don't even know if you're pregnant yet. Were you planning on taking a test or something?"

"I was just going to wait it out," Emma told him. The last time she had taken a pregnancy test she had been in jail and it had been far from a pleasant experience. "I don't want anyone else to know that I think I got knocked up by my cheating boyfriend."

Setting his jaw, Killian didn't say anything to refute her about her cheating comment. "We need to know, Emma. It won't do you a bit of good to just sit around and worry about it. When would you acknowledge it, when you went into labor?" he argued, standing up then. "I'm going to go buy a pregnancy test now and you are going to take it so we can figure out what we are going to do," he finished.

She knew there was no room for arguments in his tone, so she simply nodded in response. In truth she knew that he was the one being reasonable. And that still small voice in the back of her head sighed in relief, as it appeared that he wasn't going to kick her out and want nothing to do with her if she was pregnant.

"You can help yourself to anything while I'm gone. You need to make sure you are eating," Killian paused when Emma shot him a nasty look. She didn't even know if she was pregnant yet and he was already coddling her. The fact that he would care at all made Emma hope even more that it was just a scare. "Just please be here when I get back, love," he made a move like he was going to kiss her before he abruptly stopped himself and jerkily walked out of the apartment.

It was several minutes later when Emma finally got up, walking to the kitchen. She didn't like being here, it made her uncomfortable because she was so _comfortable_ here.

Pretending it isn't weird, she opened his fridge and saw just what she wanted: Chinese food. In checking the container, she was pleased that it was one of her favorite entrees and it appeared to be fresh. Partly just to pass the time, Emma stood by the kitchen counter and picked at the food.

Sooner than she expected the door opened and Killian walked in, looking relieved that she was there. "I got three different ones, I don't understand why they would need different brands," Killian said as he stopped next to her and sat a plastic bag on the counter.

"And you just assume I'll be able to pee enough to take three tests?" Emma asked, rolling her eyes at Killian's surprised expression.

He immediately turned to the fridge and rummaged through it for a moment. When he turned around with a container of Sunny D in his hand she couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Really…Juno?" she asked, trying her hardest to put on a straight face. It certainly wasn't a funny situation to be taking a pregnancy test at her ex-boyfriend's apartment.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Killian responded, still standing there holding the stupid orange drink as Emma went to get herself a glass of water. "It is the only drink I have here besides rum and water."

"It's just a stupid movie about a pregnant girl. She was drinking Sunny D before she took the pregnancy test," Emma explained, chugging down the water so that Killian wouldn't force it down her throat. "The way you know nothing about pop culture never fails to amaze me."

Realizing she was relaxing into their usual banter far too easily, Emma stuck the last bit of the Chinese food followed by another glass of water. "Well, thanks for getting the tests for me," she said, pulling out two of them and looking them over for a few seconds. "I'm going to go to the bathroom and let you know what they say when they're done. It should probably be five minutes or so."

When she turned to go, Killian made a move to follow her. In response to the aghast look she gave him, he spoke up. "Don't you want me to do it with you? I mean, I just don't want you to have to see the results alone."

"You want to watch me pee, Killian?" Emma asked, raising an eyebrow just inviting him to dig himself a deeper hole.

"I prefer more pleasurable activities when you have your pants down," Killian retorted.

Letting out a huff of annoyance, Emma turned and walked the short way to the bathroom with Killian on her heels. Thankfully he didn't seem to put up a fight as she shut the door in his face and locked it.

The next five minutes were pure torture for Emma. She had sat a timer on her phone for when the results would be ready, but she was still counting down the seconds in her head. It didn't make it any better that she could hear Killian pacing back and forth right outside the door. The timer on her phone going off, she bit her lip and picked up the first test, deciding not to put off the inevitable.

Swinging the door open, she almost ran into Killian's chest when she stepped out of the bathroom. His eyes were wide and questioning when he looked at her. "Not pregnant," she informed him in a flat tone.

"That's good news, right?" Killian immediately asked, the tone of his voice odd to Emma. Why in the hell would he even have to ask that? Of course it was good news.

"Obviously," Emma answered, brushing past him towards the door to leave. She had done her part and now she needed to treat him like the asshole who had cheated on her again. "It's a great thing that I won't be tied to a bastard like you for the rest of my life."

With those parting words, Emma left his apartment, promising herself that she'd never enter it again.


	9. Weddings and Disasters

**Weddings and Disasters**

Present

It had been a long and stressful day, and that was putting it lightly.

Mary Margaret and David's wedding had gone off beautifully and Emma was so happy to see them start a new phase of their life together. But it also had been a long day of running around making sure everything was going on scheduled and no one was complaining too loudly.

After making sure that someone was going to make sure everyone left the reception before the sun rose, Emma quickly left. Most of her friend had left already and it was mostly just family of Mary and Margaret and David sitting around talking anyway, so she didn't feel the least bit guilty. Maybe it was the champagne affecting her head, but Emma knew exactly where she was going.

Feet hurting from the hours standing in her tall high heels, Emma slipped them off and knocked on the apartment door, hoping the carpet in the hallway wasn't too disgusting to be standing barefoot on. A minute later when the door hadn't been opened yet, Emma pounded on it again harder, realizing that he had probably been asleep.

"Why do you have to wake up a man trying to sleep?" Killian groaned when he opened the door, his mouth snapping shut when he saw Emma standing in his doorway.

"Hey," Emma said nonchalantly, stepping into the apartment and closing the door behind her as she dropped her heels on the floor. She looked him up and down, thinking how goddamn adorable he looked right now. His hair was mused with sleep, he was wearing those adorable pajama bottoms with little anchors on them that she had bought him, and he was just looking at her all confused with bleary eyes. "Let's watch a movie," she suggested, breaking through the heavy silence in the room.

Without even waiting for his response Emma went to the kitchen, preparing the water and getting everything ready to make tea. While waiting for the water to boil, she went to the bedroom. Yep, everything was still exactly in the same place just like she had expected. It made her more satisfied than she'd like to admit, how easily she could slip back into his life like nothing had changed. She wanted this with Killian tonight, needed it. After watching her best friend marry the love of her life, she couldn't go back to the empty loft and just go to sleep. No, she needed a reminder that she didn't have to be alone all the time. That she could still spontaneously show up at Killian's apartment and know where everything was and just feel comfortable being with someone so familiar.

Remembering she was still wearing her long bridesmaids dress, Emma shuffled out to where Killian was setting up a movie just like she expected him to. "Killian?" she called out, biting back a giggle when he dropped the remote in surprise. "Can you help get me out of this dress?"

He looked like he was going to refuse until he gruffly responded. "Turn around," he said, his face blank. Feeling that familiar tightening sensation low in her belly, Emma stood still as Killian carefully unzipped the dress down to the small of her back. However, unlike the past times they had been in this situation where he had trailed his hand down her back and kissed her neck, he took a step back.

Trying not to feel disappointed, Emma went back to the bedroom and threw on his favorite t-shirt and a pair of his boxers. A moment later she heard the familiar whistle of the tea kettle and went to the kitchen, just going through the motions of making the tea. Instead she was trying to gather her nerves and come up with a plan. She had incorrectly assumed Killian would have cracked and kissed her when she asked him to unzip her dress. She'd never really had the problem of not being able to seduce him when she wanted to before…

Finished with their tea, she left the kitchen and went to the small living area he had. He was already seated at the far end on the couch, clearly expecting her to sit as far away from him as possible. "You can start it," she muttered as Killian un-paused the movie. She felt confident she could cut through the tension with a knife as she curled up right next to him, sighing in contentment as she rested her head against his shoulder.

With each passing minute Emma scooted even closer to Killian, not paying attention to anything else but the way his breath slightly sped up when she ran her fingers through his hair. She had no recollection of what movie was playing, nor did she care. It appeared to be some kind of stupid action movie that she never really liked anyway. Before she could convince herself this was a really bad decision, she kissed him on the cheek, slowly trailing her kissed down his neck.

"What the hell are you doing, Swan?" he asked, stopping her as suddenly as she had started, untangling himself from her as gently as he could.

"Come on," she sighed, wrapping herself around him so that she was practically straddling him. "It's been a long day with the wedding and I just miss you," she explained, cutting off his reply with a kiss. "I just want to be with you. We were always so good together…" she finished, her voice low and needy.

Killian let out a low groan and soundly kissed her, quickly finding their rhythm after a few fumbling seconds. "You're a bloody siren, woman," he managed to say between frantic kisses. "Testing my resolve when you show up at my door and wearing my clothes," he paused, taking the opportunity to turn off the stupid movie neither of them cared about.

"This doesn't mean we are back together," Emma finally admitted when he kissed her more tenderly than she wanted a few minutes later. At her words he immediately froze above her, his lips hovering so close to hers that she could feel his hot breath. "But that doesn't mean this is a onetime thing either."

Not moving away from her, Killian responded. "I don't understand…"

"Listen, I don't think I can handle being more than just friends right now," Emma explained, running a hand over his cheek. "But I _need_ this with you so I don't lose my mind. What I'm trying to say is we can just keep doing this," Emma motioned with her hands between them. "We just don't have to tell anyone and there'll be no strings attached."

Suddenly moving away from her so that he was standing at the edge of the couch. "You are seriously asking me if I want to just be friends with benefits with my _wife?"_ he asked, running a hand through his ruffled hair.

"Stop overthinking it and take me to bed, Killian," Emma clarified, surprised when, without another word against her, he bent down to pick her up and did just that.

…

Six Months Ago

It was official; Emma had the best boyfriend ever.

Gah, she hated it when she sounded like a lovesick teenager, but it was the truth. Tonight was their one year anniversary and she had gotten to work today to see a large bouquet of roses with a note telling her to meet him at the fanciest restaurant at 6 o'clock sharp.

Which is why, after letting Mary Margaret help pamper her before she left, she was walking up to the restaurant to meet him. Though maybe she shouldn't have worn these heels and maybe she should have told Killian to pick her up…

Not even sure how it happened, Emma saw Killian's leather jacket out of the corner of her eye. However, when she turned her head to him her stomach dropped.

He was in the alley next to the restaurant and Tink was hanging off of him.

"What?" Emma muttered, forgetting about everything else but the fact that her boyfriend was currently kissing some other girl on their anniversary.

Apparently they heard her because Killian immediately pushed Tink off of him and turned to face Emma, his eyes wide like he was surprised to see her and hadn't given her the note and told her to meet him here.

"Emma, it isn't what you think," Killian rushed out, taking a step towards her as Tink fixed her lipstick with a satisfied smirk on her face.

Now Emma didn't know Tink, but she had seen the free spirit around town a few times and had always been friendly to her. Tink had even commented that she was happy to see her and Killian together, a thought that made Emma's stomach feel even sicker.

"It isn't what I think," Emma hissed, her voice dangerously low. "You are telling me when I see you kissing another girl it isn't what I think."

"She just launched herself at me, love," Killian tried to explain, his voice frantic. "It happened right before you saw us and I was about to push her off me."

Emma bit her lip, wondering if that could possibly be true. She trusted Killian, she really did, and why would he lie to her? But the voice in her head berated her, telling her that her feelings were clouding her judgement. Everyone in her life had let her down before, why would Killian be any different?

"I'm really sorry," Tink said as Emma sent her a withering glare, no remorse on her face. "But you deserve to know that he's lying to you."

"Well then you tell me what happened from your side and we'll see who I believe," Emma said, the anger rising up in her voice again.

"Listen, he told me that you guys recently broke up. I wouldn't have been with him if I knew you were still together," Tink began, ignoring Killian's protests that she was lying until Emma silenced him with a harsh glare. "But we started hooking up a few days ago, just for fun you know."

At that Emma knew who she would believe. "So you've been having sex," Emma muttered, her voice oddly disconnected as she nodded in understanding.

"Goddamn it," Killian growled, grabbing Emma by the arm. "I swear she's just making it up, love. I love you and I would never cheat on you, tell me you know that."

Tink, meanwhile, appeared pissed off now. "You really are a villain," she hissed at Killian before she turned back to Emma. "He lied to both of us, Emma," she pulled out her phone and clicked a few buttons for offering it to Emma. "I have pictures as proof that he isn't telling the truth."

Emma only had to glance down at the phone a split second before she knew that Tink was being honest with her.

Without batting an eyelid, Emma soundly punched Killian in the face. While he took a few steps back in surprise, Emma told him. "In case that wasn't clear: we're over and don't try explaining yourself because I won't listen."

Then Emma turned around and started walking as quickly as she could with heels on, a sob already building up in the back of her throat. Just as she expected, Killian was right behind her, asking her to stop and listen to him.

Knowing he would follow her all the way home, she spun around to face him. "Just let me go," she whispered as she felt a tear trail down her cheek. "Please, Killian."

It appeared that was all it took because Killian cursed, repeating that he loved her and he would come by once she had calmed down. Then she was finally free to walk the rest of the way home, hoping no one would see that she was crying.

Emma had never been more grateful for Mary Margaret than the moment when she opened the door, on the verge of sobbing, and saw her roommate sitting on the couch reading.

"Emma, what happened?" Mary Margaret asked, standing immediately and walking towards her.

"Killian cheated on me," she whispered, her voice catching as she said his name.

Emma heard Mary Margaret gasp before she was in her arms, face pressed against her friend's shoulder as she finally let herself really cry.

"I trusted him," Emma gasped between sobs. "I finally allowed myself to love him and he broke my heart."

The next few hours were a blur for her. She mostly just sat on the couch and cried, ignoring Mary Margaret's attempts to feed her or ask her what happened. At some point Killian must have been at the door because her roommate cursed when she opened the door and immediately went out into the hallway, yelling at him in the hallway for several minutes before she came back to sit next to the heartbroken blonde.

Emma finally broke her head through the fog when she got a call from David saying Killian had been arrested and Emma immediately knew she had to go down to the station.

"What'd he do?" Emma asked, trying to avoid the sight of Killian in the jail cell out of the corner of her eye.

"Broke into Gold's shop," David answered, fixing Emma with a pitying look. Obviously Mary Margaret had told him what had happened earlier that night.

Emma just clenched her teeth, wondering how Killian could be so stupid. She had told him again and again that he should just try to stay away from Gold and his pawnshop and he had decided it was a good idea to _break in_? There was nothing there he'd want to steal either…Whatever the reason, she was confident that Gold would press heavy charges against his greatest foe.

Apparently David had sensed the change in Emma's expression because, wishing her good luck, he told her to call him when she was heading home so he knew she was okay.

Setting her shoulders and hoping her eyes weren't red, Emma marched further into the station to stand in front of the jail cell. It physically pained her to see Killian standing behind bars, but she couldn't let him see that so she just scowled at him. She could smell the strong alcohol drifting off of him in waves, it looked like he'd have a black eye by the morning, and his prosthetic was missing. Basically, he looked like shit.

"Are you just making me come down here to torture me even more?" she hissed, glaring at him as he tried to smile at her.

"Ems," he responded immediately, attempting to put his head through the bars so he could get closer to her. "You weren't answering my calls and Mary Margaret wouldn't let me in."

Emma's heart immediately dropped. "Why would I want to see you?" she asked, hardly believing they were having this conversation. "So you are telling me that you broke into Gold's shop and got arrested so you could _talk_ to me? You are such a sick bastard!"

"I needed to find proof that Gold set it up," Killian argued, referring to the cryptic comment he had made before she had stormed away from him. "There must be something in his shop. A contract with Tink that made her set me up."

"No, Killian," Emma shouted, suppressing the urge to stomp her foot in annoyance. "You don't get to blame all of your life problems on that man. Not everything can be his fault. Why can't you just swallow your pride and admit to me that you had sex with Tink," she paused, wiping the angry tears from her cheeks. "I would hate you a lot less if you would stop lying to me."

Killian balked, tearing his hand through his hair. "I'm not lying about this!" Killian fought back. "Yes, you did see me kiss Tink, but that was just because she practically leaped on me when you walked in. And those pictures were fabricated, she was making everything up. I swear I was in my apartment all afternoon until I responded to the note I assumed was from you and went to the restaurant."

Emma turned her back on him for a minute, not wanting him to see the broken expression on her face. She couldn't give him that satisfaction. "You and Tink have known each other for years…she wouldn't make that up just to spite you."

"Which is why the Crocodile is behind this," Killian retorted, his voice filling the sheriff's station.  
"Emma, please just look me in the eyes and tell me I'm lying to you. I didn't sleep with someone else."

Shaking her head, Emma gathered the courage to look into his blue eyes for a moment. "How do I know you haven't been lying to me this whole time?" she whispered, hating how weak and unlike herself she sounded. "Maybe you've been using me this whole time. Seeing how long you could drag me on for."

"I wouldn't, I told you the truth about everything," Killian replied, his voice unwavering. "I love you."

"No!" Emma screeched, not caring about how she was acting anymore. How dare he say that to her right now? He already had stuck his knife into her heart and now he was just twisting it to wound her even more. He knew how hard it was for her to exchange those words with him and now he was tainting them for her again. "You don't have the right to say that to me anymore," she hissed, taking a step towards the cell and getting into his face. "You don't get to pretend like you felt anything for me."

"You know how much I love you," Killian whispered. Emma just stood there unaffected, slapping his hand away when she felt his fingertips brushing hers. "You're everything to me."

Emma turned around then, taking a few steps away from him as a sob escaped her lips. Just yesterday she would have kissed the living daylights out of him for saying something so sweet and reminded him that she loved him too. But now it just felt like a cruel twist of fate.

Once Emma had gotten some control over her emotions again, Emma spun around to face Killian, determined to leave within a few minutes. "I'm going to leave," she uttered, avoiding his gaze. "And you are going to behave yourself in this cell and _not_ call me again."

"Not yet," Killian interrupted, his voice sounding so desperate she froze. "I want to give you this," he muttered, digging in his pocket with a panicked expression on his face until he pulled out his hand and shoved his hand out between the bars to her.

Knowing this wasn't a good idea, Emma hesitantly reached out as Killian dropped the contents of his hand into hers. Upon seeing what it was, it took all of her self-control not to drop it. "Is this a joke?" she asked, rage simmering beneath her voice.

Killian appeared like he was offended by the suggestion, gaping like a fish for a moment before he responded. "Of course not, Emma," he murmured. "I just want you to realize how serious I am about us. I would marry you right now if you'd let me."

"Can you tell me how this adds up in your mind?" Emma said in reply. "You cheat on me, get arrested, and then decide it is a good time to give me an engagement ring?"

"It's actually a wedding ring, but right now you can consider it to be an engagement ring," Killian replied, looking sheepish when Emma fixed him with a cold glare. However, Emma didn't say anything, so he kept talking. "It was my mother's. I thought that my dad had taken it with him when he left, but I found it in Liam's possessions after he died. Ever since then I've carried it with me as a reminder that I still have a part of her with me."

Emma closed her eyes, the ring feeling heavy in her hand. It wasn't right for him to try to win her sympathy with a sad story. She had her fair share of terrible memories too, it really shouldn't affect her so much when she was reminded that Killian had grown up mostly alone as well. From now on she would have to try her hardest to shut off any stupid emotions she felt towards him.

"I never thought I'd be able to part with this ring, but I can't imagine not giving it to you now," Killian said.

"Please stop," Emma whispered, closing her fist around the ring. She couldn't listen to his sweet words anymore. "Please don't keep trying to contact me, Killian. I don't want to see you again."

"But I love you," Killian responded, pressing his face against the bars. "And I know you love me too."

Reaching her wits end, Emma chucked the ring at him, not caring for the moment that it was his mother's. She heard the tinkling as it bounced on the floor in the dead silence of the station. Meeting Killian's wide eyes, she said what she never imagined she would say to him. "I _hate_ you, Killian Jones."


End file.
